The West Virginia Book Festival has been cancelled for this year. No phone books for anybody, y’all.
The Watsonville library has a painting with fish and stuff. They were gonna do an aquarium, but nobody wanted to feed that shit on Christmas.
The Camden Amphitheatre and Public Library was placed on the historic registry and it ain’t haunted or nuthin. Although, amphitheater AND library? I think Camden’s a little big for its britches, hmmm?
The Bangor Public Library is attempting to raise $3 Million dollars to fix its ugly, green copper roof because leaks are causing damage. Here that children in Africa eating for only pennies a day? We need those pennies for our book to live under.
The Chattanooga Public Library is like, what could make kids read? And the kids are all, Not shit. And The CPL is like, oh... I think not.
The Wissakih... Wisihiko... Wisicko... There’s this library in a valley in Pennsylvania that’s doing a reading competition.
The Memorial Library of Nazareth is unveiling a new young adult room that I am dubbing “The Hole.” The Hole will be soundproof, lined with tin in the blazing sun, and be only three feet by two feet but feel much smaller.
The Vineland Public Library is hosting a Halo tournament sure to scare away all the old people and bore the crap outta the young people, but the 30-year-old's who played it in college are gonna love it.
An Estonian man returned a book back 69 years late after a WWII air raid “supposedly” stopped him from doing so. Look, dude, I know WWII was real and all, but it stopped happening a long time ago. Bring your stuff back on time.