A chipper young librarian opens the doors for the day. One hour into a six hour reference shift, the librarian begins getting calls, first from the local news paper, next from the public at large. Then the director calls for a hushed meeting of the professionals while a large crowd forms outside the building. What has happened? Well, chipper young librarian, you are about to get a lesson in "Overblown Bullshit that Gets on Your Nerves" or OBGYN.
Stage 1: It's Fine.
The young chipper librarian will immediately try to deny the allegation and comfort the offended party. This stems from the librarian's still naive belief that the library and its staff are infallible. The librarian will deny the issue at all cost. Responses like "It's supposed to be like that" and "Don't worry, its not the size of the book, but the diction in the fiction" are common.
Stage 2: It's Not Fair!
The young chipper librarian will become angry if startled with little details like "facts" and "figures." Somewhere deep in the lizard librarian brain lies a truth that everything anyone says at first is bullshit. The instinct to begin reference interview is suppressed as red rage floods in and the young chipper librarian cries out like a bitch, possibly injuring others.
Stage 3: Just Let It Be Over...
The young chipper librarian will begin the process of bartering with the OBGYN. As if attempting to trade with a demonic entity was not bad enough, the librarian will believe so much in this system that when the trade does not work, they break down once more, often publicly. Most professional and some very personal items are put on the block, such as first in line for new releases, free ILL's, and first born and/or virginity.
Stage 4: It's Doomed!
The young chipper librarian implodes. A crying mess in the corner, bundled in the fetal position and moaning about how nothing is real, this librarian is no more. No comfort can be found, nor should it. This is the make or break time. Pull through this and the young chipper librarian will have the stripes to be an old jaded librarian.
Stage 5: It's On!
Old jaded librarian feels no pain, knows no fear, and has it on good authority that OBGYN is full of shit. This librarian continues because to worry about one OBGYN is to ignore thousands of legit problems. While some will experience amnesia and revert several times back to the young chipper librarian, all true librarians soon grow thick skin and are hunted for their pelts.