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Sometimes you just need a day off, yet you feel you need a reason to close down, to justify the tax payers expense verses that one crazy person who might complain. Here are 25 reasons to close down:
1. Snow Day - tried and true, in three feet of snow no one can blame you for closing
2. Power's Out - In the Digital Age, without power to light the monitors you may as well give up.
3. Not Enough Staff - Even on the prettiest of days everybody else can decide not to show.
4. Dangerous Animal Loose in Library - Two words: rabid wolverines.
5. Bookworm Infestation - Also gives you the chance to cloth the library in a circus tent.
6. All the Books Are Gone - Not as unlikely as you would think.
7. National Holiday - Nothing like President's Day to sleep in.
8. Invented National Holiday - Nothing like Day after President's Day Sale Day to sleep in.
9. Spontaneous Holiday - Nothing like Teenager Checks Out a Classic Without Being Forced To Day
10. Director Has a Boo Boo - Generally only works if you are the director.
11. Ghosts - More likely to work if library was built on Indian burial ground.
12. Simple Illness - Yep, sometimes the whole library can get the flu.
13. Supernatural Illness - Yep, sometimes the whole town can become zombies.
14. Apocalyptic Illness - Yep, sometimes the whole world can be decimated by plague.
15. Stigmata - Really anything to call the church in for, but blood especially.
16. Global Apocalypse/Rapture/Ragnarok - Think of the rush in the 200s.
17. Internetz/Facebook/Twitter Is Down - see #16.
18. Spontaneous Human Combustion - If people are burstin aflame in the library, no one is safe.
19. You Must Beat the Last Boss on Halo - Gamerz 4 Lif
20. Building Implodes Due to Indian Burial Ground - Possible consequence of fighting #11
21. Catalog Becomes Sentient, Attempts to Catalog Staff - You are either "kill" or "be killed"
22. Exestential Crisis Stemming from a "Print is Dead" Argument - self explanatory.
23. Crazy Person Attacks Staff - Real tragedy is the ticket home.
24. Exestential Crisis Stemming from a "Paul is Dead" Argument - self explanatory.
25. You Just Wanna.