J. K. Rowling's website Pottermore has begun accepting willing souls to sacrifice... their time. After a rather complicated Quill search thing, many people were allowed to register for the site early, including people that were not me. Because I have been denied entrance to this hallowed land (and the theme park... Harry defeats Voldemort and he's a hero, I defeat him and I get tossed on my ass and arrested. Don't mix your butter beer with tequilia), I will now speculate on what Pottermore contains. Caution: It has been several years since I read the books and a month since I slept through the last movie. Plus, I am trying to be sued by Rowling to gain national attention... There, I said it, I want the Banned Library reality show on the air as soon as possible.
Hit the jump for the things I want to see in Pottermore
1. Hot Dumbledore on Gindlewald action
2. American wizards from the 80s, did anyone have Miami Vice robes?
3. Examples of actual hog warts
4. Salem Witch Trials and Their Affects on Wizard Poetry
5. At least one example of a Muggle who does not give a shit about magic
6. Hogwarts Math, English, or hell, even PhysEd class
7. A wizard kicking ass at a regular sport
8. Some kink (everybody's all like "They're innocent children's books" where folks fuckin' DIE! Let's get some magical hocus pocus, if you know what I mean. I mean sex.)
9. Magic vs. .45: I wanna know how well the Elder Wand is against a Colt.
10. Harry Potter and the Convention Circuit
Give me your two cents: Comment below, tweet @bannedlibrary using the hashtag #pottermorewants or email firstname.lastname@example.org to share yours!