My rating: 4 of 5 stars
As read by The Rojo Fairy
Hello, boys and girls! I’m the Rojo Fairy, or “Red” Fairy, and I’m here to tell you about the most wonderfullest story I have ever read. The Three Little Tamales is an amusing retelling of the classic Three Little Pigs story with a Latino twist, or “gimmick”. Can you boys and girls say “gimmick”? I knew you could. Let’s see what this story has in store for us. He-he.
We start our tale in the “taqueria of Tio Jose and Tia Lupe.” In English, that translates to “McDonald’s of Uncle Joe and Aunt Rebecca.” Within this taqueria lives three tamales, which are what the French call “taco wraps.” The three tamales run away, each finding a new place to stay including sagebrush, corn, and a cactus. All of these plants are indigenous (can you say “indigenous”?) to the land known as “Mexico,” where all food talks.
One day along comes Senor Lobo, the Big Bad Wolf. “Senor” in spanish means “mister” and lobo”means “wolf,” which means his name is “Mister Wolf, the Big Bad Wolf.” When I knew him, we just called him BBW, but then he had all that trouble with the pigs and moved across the border. We’ll always have that last night in Tijuana, I guess.
Anyway, so BBW comes along and he’s all rough and tough and wants him some food, even though it probably spoiled in the sun, but I guess because it’s living he’s okay with that. Hey, boys and girls, can you say “carrion eater” in Spanish? Me neither.
So the jerk huffs and puffs and blows down the first two tamales houses. Same old schtick. “Schtick” means “something you do over and over again like leaving a fairy alone in a foreign land after a night of passion and never calling her again.” Why do I always go after the bad wolfs? Can you say “daddy issues,” boys and girls? I can.
So he goes after the tamales in the cactus and they defeat him. Actually, they try to roast him alive, which is more than that sad bast- Oh, Right! Boys and girls, the mean old wolf is beaten by the tamales and they all live happily ever after.
Wasn’t that a wonderful story?! Goodbye, little ones! May your lives be glorious!
Thanks, Rojo Fairy! Where do I find these people? I have to get more normal reviewers... Half of them don’t even say if the book is good or not. Weirdos.
Each day in the month of April 2012 (starting the first Sunday, then excluding every other Sunday) we will blog using the alphabet as our guide. I will link each post to the letter and you can find them all on this page. If you want to keep up with the challenge for my fellow bloggers, check out the A to Z Challenge Page.