Ever see a dead body?
Hope everyone had a great St. Patrick’s Day Weekend. Mine sucked. Let’s talk about it.
So Saturday is the cheat day on my diet. I’ve talked about it. I can eat, drink and stuff what ever I want in mah face. So after a day of running around with a donut in one hand, a slice of pizza in the other, and a double chocolate shake balanced on my head like a damn washerwoman, I go out to the bar.
I sit down and take out half an order of nachos and two beers in the first hour while discussing the intricacies of “Dragon Ball Z” with someone I have only ever known as “That One-Armed Guy at the Bar.” I still do not know what that show is about, but I will allow myself to become a captive audience if nachos are involved.
Next I commit to a philly cheesesteak (with nacho cheese and everything) and hide myself away with a pitcher of beer in a table at the corner of the bar. I love doing this. Find a quiet spot in a crowded bar, get a book or food to occupy yourself with, and people watch.
I saw so many things on this pre-Saint Pat’s Day bash. Father Conners from Our Lady of Constant Sorrow spent three hours talking Pokemon with the One Armed Guy. Penny Simon found her a fella and made him buy her three drinks before they went out to the parking lot and never came back. Mary and Chester Washington lost their battle with cigarettes from the many times they wandered in and out to the back deck.
Oh, and I had a front seat to watch the mayor, William “Billy” Bilbo, dropped dead of a heart attack.
Yeah. He was seated at the bar like he always was on a Saturday night, holding court and waving his hands around with animated discussion. I would let myself focus in on what he was saying every once in awhile and follow some moonshine story of his fathers or about how his grandfather used to “ride the rails.” The best of the Bilbo clan, or at least the most honest and stable, our mayor could spin a story with sincerity and humor that just made you like him.
About half past ten, he stood up to find his way to the bathroom, put his hand on the man next to his shoulder and say something, then fall flat on his face, stone dead.
At first everyone thought he was joking, but when the stain of urine came pooling around his pants the crowd became embarrassed. A few fellas went to help him up and noticed he was heavier than usual. An hour later, the ambulance took him away under a sheet to be pronounced at the hospital.
I heard the city council called for a meeting tomorrow night, but I doubt I am gonna go. Mom and Dad will. Probably the whole town will. As far as I know we have not had a city official die in office since the turn of the century and that sheriff died in a shootout with the Copper gang. Part of the treasure legend.
Anyway, whatever they decide about who gets to be mayor, they sure as hell are not gonna care what I have to say about it. If I really cared. I have a feeling that not much really gets done in the Mayor’s office and there ain’t many folks that can do the deals Bilbo did on that bar stool.
This town might be in for a bit of a shake up.
We shall see,