Traditional library hierarchy dictates that the Library Director shall be in charge of all day-to-day operations and enforcement of policies as well as keeping the Board of Trustees informed. Should the Library Director be unavailable for duty, the Assistant Director will assume all duties and authority of the Library Director. Should both LD and Ass LD be unavailable, all authority will be passed by rite of the Chain of Command.
As set upon by our man Jayne, head librarian at Canton in the long ago dark days, the administrative chain of authority is a literal chain used downward, both in command and when striking, through which those in higher authority may temper those in lower authority until everyone is certain who has full authority.
What is the Chain of Authority?
The Chain of Authority is a length of chain, roughly 3-6 feet (.91-1.8m), made of metal, generally steel or iron. Some choose to decorate it with strips of colorful leather or glitter.
How to Determine who Uses the Chain of Authority and its Operation
- Assess the situation: Can you see the Library Director? Is he or she breathing? Does he or she respond to loud noises, such as the mating call of the African Swallow? If answer to all of the above is “no,” continue.
- Further assess the situation: Can you see the Assistant Library Director? Is he or she breathing? Does he or she respond to loud noises, such as the mating call of the African Swallow? If answer to all of the above is “no,” continue.
- Are you bigger than everyone around you? If no, hand this personnel policy manual to the largest staff member to your right unless you are certain you can trick them into not beating you with a length of chain, roughly 3-6 feet (.91-1.8m) in length. If yes, continue.
- Do you know where the Chain of Authority is? If no, you are not important or knowledgeable enough to be in charge and should hand this manual to your department head. If no, but you don’t give a shit what some dumbass policy manual says, then feel free to use the policy manual as an ad hoc chain until someone takes it from you or you are defeated. If yes, continue.
- Retrieve the Chain. If someone questions your authority, beat them with it. If they take it from you, you do not have authority. If their life juice leaks from their dumb man parts, then you are clearly chosen by Superman to reign with supreme authority over the library. Present yourself to the others as a sign of domination and choose your mate.