MU Librarian Marie* Concannon (you know she's special because there's a star in her name or at least there was in the article so now that's canon) has noticed that without a government, certain government resources are unavailable to researchers, students and everyone else. After an extensive survey of fifteen people, an above average number of people a library survey attracts, Concannon is now on a quest to replace the federal government resources, such as census, space and ninja numbers.
This recalls the case of Billy Dewey, cousin to Melvil Dewey. During a local government shut down in the town that Melvil Dewey came from, Billy felt he should go out and supplant the information that was unavailable to town, namely the local census. Billy went door to door, asking all kinds of questions like "Where do you live? Who are you? Is that your daughter? Is she single?" Billy was arrested after the fifth house on charges of "being a creepy creep." It was a simpler time, but it was thought Billy had alternate motives. Billy died in jail because the government of the town that Melvil Dewey came from was overthrown in a deadly coup style siege that caused the city jail to be set ablaze by a frightened cow.
Let's hope Ms. Concannon fairs better in her efforts.