The library used to be simple. It was where the books lived. People went there and they learned a little something, maybe read a funny story. Not anymore. Seems we are now in the digital age, so strap in and hope whatever god you believe in loves you when you reach the other side.
From all the way up in Seattle, Washington, Not D.C., a bunch of ne'er do well librarians are releasing content over the online internet. Who do they think they are, streaming movies and music and god help us if they learn they can just give away books electronically. That is crazy town, population whatever Seattle's population is, and it is only gonna grow as the librarians begin to believe they can keep giving things away that may just enrich or entertain you.
Look at what they are doing! See with your eyes and use that sight knowledge to believe as I do that the librarians are taking away the Amazon-given right to stream content through wires and through wirelesses. This cannot be! It is sacrilege to the mighty Jobs, who on his death bed was heard by an unconfirmed source to whisper, "Rosebud is iPad and digital content should be paid for and given away freely and did I mention that I named my iPad Rosebud that should be in a movie or something. Gasp, death noise, sound of iPhone hitting the floor and shattering, then sound of shat."
Of course, we have an ally in this attack on civil streaming liberty, and that is Scribd, who is trying to launch a "Netflix for books" because that's a phrase I am not tired of reading. Will it be enough to stop the librarians from reaching out into the digital divide, from clasping hands with their betters and wondering what that smell is, oh yeah, that smell is the poor people whom the librarians serve. The poor people that do not deserve the free content besides those book things and maybe a DVD if they still make those.
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