Library crime is back and it is still the same old crappy people doing crappy things in and around our dear public servants. Today we have a bit of theft, a bit of more theft, and an arrest! On to it!
When Tacoma’s Karpeles Manuscript Library director, Tom "The Jut" Jutilla, arrived at work the day this happened, he expected to find his favorite building plaque outside. He did not. What he did find what the sad, empty rectangle shaped shadow on the brick, untouched by wind or rain or any other manner of weather due to having had a plaque on it for what this writer assumes to have been enough time to notice such change. Suspiciously, though, The Jut seems to have a notion as to how much the probably bronze (but who really knows, they make signs out of all kinds of shit, right?) plaque weighed when he called it "very heavy." Suspicious minds start your thinking.
Insert your own clever pun on books and throwing of said books at offenders here as we now move to the Friends of the Mary Esther Library where allegedly treasurer Tamara "The Queen" King stole more than $10,000 from the library over a specific amount of time I'm sure someone else asked about. We have read stories about people stealing from libraries before, and we would like to say that it shocks our sensitive ears to read it again, and it does. Woe unto the horrible cretins that feel the library is a target for their evil, despicable, and vile crimes. May they all die of dysentery while attempting to fjord a river.
And finally, the Dread Pirate Roberts was arrested at the San Francisco library for his/her/its alleged crimes against someone. They tell me he/she/it was a kingpin of a Silk Road, something I would like to see. It must be soft as shit. We have just now read more of the article and it appears he/she/it was something of a bad ass who allegedly murdered people and unlike other library patrons had computer skills, so we shall stop here before making even one Princess Bride joke. Inconceivable!