Several authors have dipped back, way back into the past and found an obscure author that they feel needs a bit of an update. Gathering their collective juices together, they chose little known writer Jane Austen as someone in need of a modern retelling. Austen, whose books centered around pastoral English romances, were deemed ripe for the reboot treatment, having been set aside since the author's death.
"We just feel that these stories are classics, even if no one has ever heard of them," one writer in the project was heard to have said while Bridget Jones's Diary blared in the background while an online ad for the Youtube series "The Lizzie Bennett Diaries" popped up on her computer.
The collective, known as the Austen Project, aims to release the books under their original titles, but with new guts, scooping out the original prose that made them all boring and stuff, and inserting things like cell phones and ipods to bring the stories into the modern age.
Other collectives to re-write the works of lost authors include "What the Dickens?: Modern Retellings of Charles Dickens," "Metal In Be-Twain: An All Robot Mark Twain Sci-Fi Mashup," and "Shake and Bake: Shakespeare with A Cooking Detective Twist."
All rewritings are expected to make bunches of money and benefit no one except people who read the same shit over and over again, not wanting anything new or unexpected. Also, if it is old, it is dumb and evil.