I am not sure what to write anymore.
You have no idea how terrifying it is for me to write that sentence. Or how freeing. I do not know.
And it is not writer's block, if that's what you think. I still have Can I Help You to finish and there's comics to review and books and... I do not want to do any of it. It does not feel right anymore.
When I started this blog, hell, when I started the twitter account that preceded it, I had no agenda. Blow off some steam. Over the two years I have had some encouragement and some failures (if you start a blog, don’t migrate anything anywhere new. Just burn the original house and start fresh unless you have someone who knows what they are doing to help you.) and there have been some successes (just this past year I received my first check for writing from something on this blog, the first time that has ever happened), but I just kept plugging along trying to come up with interesting things.
But I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not interested in long form fiction, at least not like this, and the numbers show my readers are not either. And that’s nobody’s fault, this is not the medium for that. I will finish Can I Help You, probably by the end of the week, and there will be no more of that in blog form.
I like the weird short stories of the podcast, mostly because they let me get the crazy out verbally, which is a kind of its own release. For now that will stay the same.
Nonfiction or nonsense Onion-type articles? Maybe. Actually, probably. That’s fun for me and even if they never get any numbers this is all to make me laugh.
News or topical essays? They have been my most popular when I have been my most pompously passionate, but in general I dislike the politics of most anything and would rather stay out of all of it. And the news... When the news is good, I can laugh and have fun but when it is bad I just feel horrible typing it up. And honestly, have you seen all the puns newspapers use? "Librarian Closes Chapter to Career in a Novel Way." Gag.
Reviews? Maybe for something big or for a book/movie/frozen pizza that really grabbed me, but I just don’t care about throwing out that kind of stuff anymore. I am not a critic, just another opinionated asshole on the internet and believe me, the internet’s full of those.
Why write this? Why put this out into the ether? Again, I do not know. I sat down tonight and this is what came out.
So what about tomorrow? What will be here tomorrow? We shall see. Thank you to everyone who has read my ramblings.