From what my library spies have told me, a video is making the rounds of a woman twerking in various locations, such as The Walmart and the library.
So proud to be an American.
In case you do not know, “twerking” as defined by the Oxford English Dictionary is a “dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance.”
Lazy writing to blatantly state a definition like that? Sure, but re-read that shit again and tell me you would not do the same thing.
WHY DOES THE OED HAVE A DEFINITION OF TWERKING?
Are you telling me that my spell check is flipping out and some stuffy British dudes are like, “Hell to the yes, add that shit to the compendium, bitches?”
But I am off topic. The topic is twerking in the library.
I still can not believe this is the topic.
Why is the library being treated like Walmart? Okay, yeah, we have fun and do Beastie Boys paradies, we Harlem Shake from time to time, librarians even have official synchronized dance-offs with book carts at national conventions… but twerking?
Should we condone any of this behavior? Is this an all or nothing condition where we say “the library is for learning and not dancing” as if we were Footloose elders? Will Kevin Bacon notice me for this post?*
I have no answer to these questions. I just have a request. If you must twerk, twerk outside the library. There’s no music to twerk to in the library. It is a quiet place, for the most part.
Twerk outside, maybe around the corner with the guy who parts his hair weird. He likes staring at people.
*The writer acknowledges no other possible timeline where anyone but Kevin Bacon dances for freedom. Suck it, Kenny Wormald.