Full disclosure: I've never seen a "bad" anything. No grotesque grandpas, turbulent teachers, or lascivious librarians. Just to let you know, I'll watch a Bad Librarian movie, even if it stars Noah Wyle.

    When I say this is the worst "bad" movie I have seen, then you know I don't give a shit about these people. What makes them bad? Who the fuck cares? Have them hump Santa and get some drinks at the mall. Cuss out their kids. If that's "bad" then the trailer park where my friend and confidant Andy Lamont grew up is hell on earth. Those ladies would fuck Santa up and down.

    What's the story of this movie? Everybody's mom is a piece of shit. And there's kids or something and we learn the spirit of Christmas. The most unbelievable fact of this whole enterprise is the scene where all the moms meet in a church and don't burst into flames from the righteous fury of the screenwriter paid to spin this gold into straw.

    In case you're wondering, the gold is the entire cast. Every person in this is working below their potential, the blogger writes as if channeling a school marm.