For all of you who have been coming to the library asking if Obama is coming back to take away his healthcare, the library can only prescribe one thing: nothing.
Look, just because you came that one time and showed us that thing on your leg and we identified it with our medical texts does not mean we are a healthcare provider. Also, don't do that. Gross.
Just because you called the library and we told you where to vote and what to bring does not mean we are involved in politics. Some of us don't even vote and it's not because we're undocumented beings from other worlds; it's because we keep forgetting what century we are in, much like our president.
It's the 21st, by the way. Good ole 2017. The year the invasion started under your sniveling, sickly noses.
So to recap: the library are not doctors or politicians or lawyers and can barely explain this mess to ourselves. What we are is librarians, which means we can give you all the information and make you think for yourselves. It makes the brain meat sweeter.
Don't forget to return your books!