Coming soon to a theater near you will be a young Han Solo movie. That's good because if it came to a hospital or something people would be confused.
Would you like healthcare or the adventures of a young smuggler in a galaxy far far away from a long time ago? Most people would choose to get that broken testicle taken care of, I suspect.
But it opens the door to all kinds of preview stories of even longer longer time ago.
Like a young Chewbacca movie.
Picture it with these two words: Encino Wookie.
Chewbacca and his good friend Paulie Shore are digging a pool on Kashyyyk so they can have a raging party after the prom. What happens when they find a frozen wookie down there?
Crazy shit. That's what happens when you find a prehistoric wookie.
Look, in the world of the Star Wars, wookies are a space faring group. I can't be alone in thinking that more of those hairy bastards can fix a ship.
But what were they like before all that? What were they like when they had to fight their way up the food chain?
Monster killers, that's what. Carnage with a capital Chewbacca as the Captain Caveman version of Chewbacca has to be tracked down before he murders everything that walks or crawls on that fucking planet of the big trees.
Imagine this with me, please. A complete picture with no subtitles, just murder bears fighting with those bow casting things that shoot lasers instead of bolts.
Roaring and blood. Violent pain. The world on fire.
2020 Chewbacca digs up the past and comes roaring into the future. Encino Wookie. It'll fuck you up.
Plus, hey, Brendan Fraser gets some work again. He'll be covered in hair, but I miss him.