Back in nineteen eighty something, a blonde lady on the screen made me smile so hard my face hurt. She was screaming about something with Kurt Russell or in a dumb movie with Chevy Chase or in the army or coaching a team… You know, Goldie Hawn was in a lot of places for a long time. And she was brilliant. You know what? She's still brilliant. Snatched does not let that show, though.
Amy Schumer is a hapless lady with nothing going for her except tickets for a vacation in Latin America. Dumped, she decides to take her borderline shut-in mom and they get kidnapped. Then the movie becomes some weirdass looney toons cartoon where people violently die and the audience is left asking, what the hell was that?
I'm serious about Goldie Hawn needing a comeback. She was a fixture in my growing up, as much as John Travolta and Michael Keaton and better than both of them. Hell, she held her own with vigor opposite Meryl Streep once. Watching Snatched made me just feel queasy thinking about how good a really good Goldie Hawn movie could be.
Amy Schumer is kinda wasted here as well, knowing how good the comedy in her show and her stand up was.
Just all over I felt like I was watching someone's hopes rather than an execution of a dream.