Remember back in the day when the office party would be raging and Brenda would drop her pants and hop up on the copy machine? Me neither, library holiday parties have never been ragers. But that butt copy has always been a temptation, huh? Maybe not for long. Old tech dies with each generation, speeding up each year. Here are seven reasons why your library no longer needs a copy machine.
How big is that copy machine grandpa librarian bought in 1986? Like six foot square on the carpet and four feet tall? You know how many 3D doohickies could fit there? A lot.
If any other library equipment breaks down, it gets repurposed. Computer too slow to run whatever games they have in Children's? Make it an OPAC. Crayons in Children's all just stumpy nubs? Melt them down to goo and patch the roof. When a copy machine breaks down, if you can't have it repaired then you might have to push it over and make a bench.
Speaking of repair, there's one guy that can do it. In the world. Because Grandpa Librarian bought a Zerox instead of a Xerox, you are stuck with Stan from Milwaukee and the last time he was here Stan had a cough you did not like. Plus, it costs a lot ship Stan down here in that big metal tube.
Speaking of money, not just repair but supplies. Sure, we charge you that extra five cents for double sided, but that toner is worth more than gold. Almost as much as "correctional fluid."
5. Learning Curve
Even if it is an all-in-one modern marvel, the damn thing still can not be operated by someone who has never used one. You can make that big green button as big as you want, but if the touch screen has ten menu options guess what a patron will push?
6. That Guy with the Zine
I am just putting this here because there is always a guy with a zine. It is short for "magazine" or "fanzine" because he has the real information about who did 9/11 and thoughts on Family Ties season 2.
7. It Is Time
Look, I remember being amazed and scared when scanners became a thing, too. But then I remembered that copy machines have been doing the same thing for years. And getting away with it.
Right now, in your pocket, is a supercomputer with a camera that can pull text and images off a sheet of paper, copy them, and send them to any networked printer. It can pull and understand the text.
Holding on to a giant copy machine because a few users wish to not learn how to use a personal computer, something required for most of modern life, is folly.
Now if we can just convince the government to stop requiring faxes.