Funding Dilemma Part 1

by Banned Library in


The library sat quiet on a Friday morning. The kids were in school, the soccer moms still sipping their coffee at home, and the elderly patrons just leaving after reading the paper and finding their holds. The clock ticked on, matching the click clack of the keys in the computer lab.

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Teen Library Drama

by Banned Library in


The couple came in the library holding hands. He wore a letterman's jacket, a football patch over the school letter. She had her blonde hair back in a ponytail and held her books in one hand. They fit the image as the perfect teen couple, the jock and the cheerleader preparing for the rest of their lives.

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Suggestion Box

by Banned Library in ,


Earlier today, I checked the library suggestion box.

    Don't ever check the library suggestion box. Just let the damn thing sit there and get full. When it's full, take it to the back, further back past the circulation librarian's office, past the technical services desk, past the table with tape all over it because that's how you fix books. Take it to the back dark corner of the workroom and set it down.

    Next you need a metal trash can. If you do not have a metal trash can, can you even call yourself a library?

    Take the metal trash can and drag it over to the dark corner in the back of the library. If there is anything in the metal trash can not worth burning, take it out.

    Start a fire with your library-issued chrome lighter. Use what you can, but make it hot and make it burn. Broken pallets work best or pine wood for scent.

    When the yellow and orange cleansing bath has been drawn, pick up the suggestion box. Hold it tight and close to the flames. Lid out, at an angle, open the box.

    There may be a force from the escaping suggestions. Allow the box to cradle in your arm, much like a baby attempting to get down but a baby that needs to eat. Eat baby, eat, you say as you tip the open suggestion box forward to the fire.

    When you are done, feel free to return the box to the circulation desk. It's presence makes people feel better. As if they are being listened to.

If you have a question or comment for the library, reach out to us on our contact page, twitter, or email. Never Facebook or its hell spawn Instagram. Or maybe.




Tip the Carrier

by Banned Library in


The news paper thunked against the front steps of the library and bounced into the bushes. Evan sighed, put the car in park, and got out. He crossed the library lawn to get the paper where it needed to go.

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Directions for Solving the Library's Escape Room

by Banned Library in ,


You find yourself in a locked room. Two bookcases are along one wall. A door is across from them. The door has a dozen locks, all different and all requiring a code, key, or fingerprint. The door is solid as the walls. In the corner, you hear the hiss of air from a vent.

    To escape this room, do the following:

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Library Llorona

by Banned Library in


I guess you'll know the end when it comes, she said.

    I did not know what the hell she was talking about. The end of what, I said.

    The woman in the blue dress smiled and became beautiful with that smile. Her teeth brightened, her eyes sparkled, her cheeks filled with color. Her face leaned in.

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