Some librarians are born bad. Others are made bad by choice or circumstance.Read More
Our librarian stops the man from burning down the building, but learns his reference librarian has a secret.Read More
The library sat quiet on a Friday morning. The kids were in school, the soccer moms still sipping their coffee at home, and the elderly patrons just leaving after reading the paper and finding their holds. The clock ticked on, matching the click clack of the keys in the computer lab.Read More
"I'm ninety-two years old, and I'm gonna live to be a hundred if the deal I made with the devil works out," she told our librarian asking about her life.Read More
"Can you help me on the computer?"
He was a little man with thick glasses and a tweed coat. His voice carried him, this deep rumble from a low place, like well-oiled farm equipment.Read More
The couple came in the library holding hands. He wore a letterman's jacket, a football patch over the school letter. She had her blonde hair back in a ponytail and held her books in one hand. They fit the image as the perfect teen couple, the jock and the cheerleader preparing for the rest of their lives.Read More
"Mommy?" the child's sing song, a little low note, came again.
I walked around the desk, hands in pockets, strolling. I was sure I would hear the mother give a reassuring "What?" or "Yes, baby?" When all that came was another "Mommy?" I turned my wander that way.Read More
The circulation desk got cold. Like the top of a refrigerator with a leak kinda cold. I lifted my hand up and wondered what the hell was happening.Read More
"I need a place to play my cassettes," the man said. He had liver spots on his shaking hand, the one that held the box. The box rattled with the gentle plastic.Read More
More shopping carts appeared on the library steps and I got concerned. Three days they stuck around, Walter and Brenda berating them, then they slipped away. I wondered if we had space in the basement for all of them.Read More
Back home in the south, we call them "buggies." We also call them "shopping carts," the wire mesh baskets on wheels that live in grocery stores. When one showed up at the library, we knew we had an opportunity.Read More
The director said the bell would stay on the circulation desk. Brenda complained that someone was always there, but the director said the bell would stay. Brenda pouted and stood, arms crossed, glaring at the little metal object.Read More
I should have been paying more attention when the boy went into the stacks. I told him not to go, but boys disappear sometimes.Read More
The other day I am sitting at the reference desk and a student of the local college comes up and interrupts my game of Minecraft. The kid in question asks for help finding sources for a reference paper.Read More
The man stacked books. They started small. A few little book stacks on tables here and there left at the end of the day. People do that. Shelver Becca called me in one day to look at them.Read More
Earlier today, I checked the library suggestion box.
Don't ever check the library suggestion box. Just let the damn thing sit there and get full. When it's full, take it to the back, further back past the circulation librarian's office, past the technical services desk, past the table with tape all over it because that's how you fix books. Take it to the back dark corner of the workroom and set it down.
Next you need a metal trash can. If you do not have a metal trash can, can you even call yourself a library?
Take the metal trash can and drag it over to the dark corner in the back of the library. If there is anything in the metal trash can not worth burning, take it out.
Start a fire with your library-issued chrome lighter. Use what you can, but make it hot and make it burn. Broken pallets work best or pine wood for scent.
When the yellow and orange cleansing bath has been drawn, pick up the suggestion box. Hold it tight and close to the flames. Lid out, at an angle, open the box.
There may be a force from the escaping suggestions. Allow the box to cradle in your arm, much like a baby attempting to get down but a baby that needs to eat. Eat baby, eat, you say as you tip the open suggestion box forward to the fire.
When you are done, feel free to return the box to the circulation desk. It's presence makes people feel better. As if they are being listened to.
The news paper thunked against the front steps of the library and bounced into the bushes. Evan sighed, put the car in park, and got out. He crossed the library lawn to get the paper where it needed to go.Read More
Dear vendor from a company similar but is not at all ReferenceUSA,
Nobody wants your shit. Nobody. Not my grandma, not my little brother, not any of the other people I make up to deny you. Not a single person on this material plane or the next.Read More
You find yourself in a locked room. Two bookcases are along one wall. A door is across from them. The door has a dozen locks, all different and all requiring a code, key, or fingerprint. The door is solid as the walls. In the corner, you hear the hiss of air from a vent.
To escape this room, do the following:Read More
I guess you'll know the end when it comes, she said.
I did not know what the hell she was talking about. The end of what, I said.
The woman in the blue dress smiled and became beautiful with that smile. Her teeth brightened, her eyes sparkled, her cheeks filled with color. Her face leaned in.Read More