Moana (2016) Review: No More Heroes or Dead People

by Banned Library in

Meeting your heroes is tough. When the library met documentary comic writer/painter Eric Powell, we stared at the ground a lot and mumbled how much he meant to us. When Moana of the movie Moana meets her hero, he's a dick.

Eric Powell was not a dick. When we met the Night Raven, she was a dick. More on that later.

Moana, the movie, is about a young island girl, Moana, who leaves her island despite the warnings to find an ancient demigod and get him to fix the world he broke. She does. The end.

First of all, the music, voices, and effects are amazing. Catchy tunes written by the Hamilton writer Lin Manuel Miranda will invade your skull and you will say "You're Welcome." Dwayne "That Guy" Johnson and newcomer Auli'i Cravalho star as Maui and Moana and kick ass at talking into microphones. And the water and the chicken. You will believe a chicken can be stupid.

Second of all, again, not one bit of murder. Look, I understand that there's Disney right there on the box. But at least in some Disney movies a villain can be trusted to get killed or kicked off a mountain. What happens here? Well, spoiler alert. It doesn't.

When we went to the library conference and met the Night Raven, we all knew we could die. And some of us made it out.

Don't meet your heroes, you know?