Staff Picks: Dark Winter Overlord Edition
Now that the world is in the full grip of winter, you must choose a demonic or otherworldly overlord for which to serve. Do you want fire to warm your home or animal servants to bring you food? What are you willing to give up, blood for blood or do you have a spare virgin lying around? The staff of the library is here to help you make these easy decisions.
Karryn the Vampire Queen - Brenda from Circulation
Overview
Karryn's pretty cool overall. She's immortal, loves to laugh, and makes the best bloody mary's. If you need someone to call up and hang with, there's no beating this dark overlord. Plus, she's a voracious reader. If you let her in, she will satisfy all your needs on those lonely nights.
Cost
Couple pints of blood once or twice a week
Pros
Good drinks and good times
Cons
Little woozy after hangs, and she mmay tell the same stories over and over
The Tome of Ancient Sorrows - Chris from Reference
Overview
The only reference book you will ever need. It's big and heavy, easily capable of bringing a grown man to his knees with one overhead blow, yet light enough that it can be carried around by any library staff. Just one look in these pages will show you secrets that will melt your brain.
Cost
A melted brain.
Pros
Unlimited knowledge and awesome potential for destruction
Cons
Reading too often can lead to cackling insanity and ooze in ears
Sheila the Book Cart - Freddy the Page
Overview
Built in Detroit in 1956, this book cart has survived to today on wheels of evil and shelves of determination. Giving your soul over to this cart means never having to say "I can't carry that." Sheila will bring light unto your heart and death unto your enemies.
Cost
One Soul
Pros
Great carry capacity, space age design
Cons
May lose passion for all things
Marquis the Butterfly King - Jamie from Children's
Overview
Once a small butterfly, Marquis slaughtered fields of enemies and stomped six bloody boot prints onto the souls of the dead. With his coal and fire inlaid wings he carries the souls of the undying to their places of torment. Hear his forlorn wail and tremble.
Cost
One gumdrop
Pros
Never fear when you know true death
Cons
May destroy you