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The library bookstore does not give returns unless you don't want your money back.

This week the library talks about some movies we watched including Hokum, Mortal Kombat II, and Sheep Detectives and thinks about the nature of death and parking issues.

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PostedMay 11, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly, Reviews
TagsHokum, Damien McCarthy, Adam Scott, Peter Coonan, David Wilmot, Mission Impossible Final Reckoning, Mission Impossible, Christopher McQuarrie, Erik Jendresen, Tom Cruise, Haley Atwell, Ving Rhames, Ted Turner, Mortal Kombat, Simon McQuoid, Jeremy Slater, Karl Urban, Adeline Rudolph, Jessica McNamee, Beyond the Stars, David Saperstein, Martin Sheen, Christian Slater, Sharon Stone, Sheep Detectives, Kyle Balda, Craig Maison, Hugh Jackman, Emma Thompson, Nicholas Braun
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This week's story time will be a tale old as time to help young children remember to obey their parents. It's Bloody Bones and Rawhead time!

This week's story time will be a tale old as time to help young children remember to obey their parents. It's Bloody Bones and Rawhead time!

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PostedMay 4, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
TagsRawhead and Bloody Bones, glitter, lost and found, summer space camp
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The library does not allow weddings on the premises, including the roof.

The library aggressively launches LAIbrary programs and help as well as the normal weekly announcements.

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PostedApril 27, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
Tagsoral history, Amalode Jenkins, LAIbrary, Violent Maniacs MC
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Children's has a problem and the only solution is more glitter!

The weekly newsletter about library programs and events including announcements about Walpurgisnacht, the spring staff party, and a Heard around the Library section!

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PostedApril 20, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
TagsWalpurgisnacht, branch library, Chilton, Spring Staff Party, seed library, community garden, awareness, prom, heard around the library
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The bookmobile is providing ride share as a side hustle. Don't throw up on the books, please.

The library is offering free tax help and a new installment of Library & Order.

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PostedApril 13, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
TagsSpring Survival Reading, bookmobile, taxes, Library and Order, Reference Librarian
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The circulation desk lives on your tears. Since we went fine free it has been dying.

An update on the library stapler and glowing tome as well as an oral history about an encounter with a drunken bear.

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PostedApril 6, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
Tagsstapler, glowing tome, spring break, oral history
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The library wants to remind everyone that playing pranks in the building Wednesday, April 1st, will end in pain and screaming and a permanent ban.

This week’s newsletter contains information about Fool’s Day and Eostre celebrations as well as an itinerary for the Spring Survival Reading Program.

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PostedMarch 30, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
TagsFools Day, bookmobile, stapler, Eoster, Spring Survival Reading
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Story time this week will be a story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. It's a banger.

The library has updates on St. Patrick’s Day, the equinox, various programs, and a sample of a library interview.

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PostedMarch 23, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
TagsSt Patrick's Day, Scream
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The library group chat is mostly memes about things burning.

This week the library talks about Astronomy Now!, a St Patrick’s Day program, voting rights, and much more!

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PostedMarch 16, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
TagsAstronomy Now, St Patrick's Day
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The drive-in will never die

The library reserves the right of trial by combat for damaged books.

The library reserves the right of trial by combat for damaged books.

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PostedMarch 9, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
TagsLast Drive-in, Joe Bob Briggs, fountain, Eoster, Wuthering Heights, colonoscopy
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The bookmobile has Children's Department programs that may involve glitter. We do not have a "girl that runs shine."

The bookmobile has Children's Department programs that may involve glitter. We do not have a "girl that runs shine."

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PostedMarch 2, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
Tagsoral history, bookmobile, Spring Survival Reading
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The library will no longer allow service alligators.

Thoughts and happenings from around the library from February 2026

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PostedFebruary 23, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
TagsGood Luck, Have Fun, and Don't Die, 2026, Gore Verbinski, Matthew Robinson, Sam Rockwell, Juno Temple, Haley Lu Richardson
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The library phone is for emergencies or really cool prank calls only.

Missives from the library

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PostedFebruary 18, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
Tagsphone
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Luke in the Library

Every library where I have worked has Luke Skywalker as a patron. Luke was set up in my first week at each institution. He's checked out display materials, put book club books on hold, and reserved spaces all over the library. Luke is my silent library partner.

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PostedFebruary 16, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
TagsLuke Skywalker
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Shelter (2026) from "Who is this guy?"

A staple of the action genre is the "who is this guy" plot. A bunch of ne'er do wells go about their crimes, but catches the attention of a hidden badass living amongst the goodasses. As their best fodder is being destroyed, the guy next to the head evil guy will say, "who is this guy?"

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PostedFebruary 11, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
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campfire in darkness

I like watching fire

I like watching fire. There's a comfort to the leaping flames. The sound of crystalline crackles of destruction as wood combusts feels like home to me. It's been that way since I learned to make it.

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PostedFebruary 9, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
Tagsfire, depression
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I Come in Peace (1990) to the Library

The librarian stops Penny Man from doing coke in the library and talks about the movie I Come in Peace

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PostedFebruary 2, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews, Weekly
Tagsi come in peace, Dolph Lundgren, Brian Benben, 1990
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Send Help to the Library

Ever wanted to know what it would look like to see a mean girl mommy-domm a tech bro on a deserted island on the big screen? Look no further, because Send Help from director Sam Raimi and starring Rachel McAdams and Dylan O'Brien will scratch that itch and more. Inside this morally complex tale for adults Raimi includes some wild violence and humor to keep the kids entertained. It's great.

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PostedJanuary 26, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsSend Help, 2026, Sam Raimi, Rachel McAdams, Dylan O'Brien
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At the library We Bury The Dead (2025)

In this dull little anti-zombie tale, we have a woman making her way across Tasmania to find her husband while some of the dead are up and walking around. Why are some of them walking around? Who the fuck knows. All we do know is that drama follows.

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PostedJanuary 19, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews, Weekly
TagsWe Bury the Dead, Daisy Ridley, Zak Hilditch
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Don't Let Primate (2025) in the Library

A little critter went tearing around the library screaming its damn head off while the handler ignored it because checking Instagram stories was more important. I asked the handler to get ahold of the critter, but she said "he's all right. Just got that cake in him."

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PostedJanuary 12, 2026
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsPrimate, 2025
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