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Eurotrip (2004) I wish I had taken

Twenty years ago, the best "not real" song from a movie was released. "Scotty Doesn't Know" may or may not have rocketed up the charts (I didn't care enough to look) with its pop-punk message about fucking another guy's girlfriend. The movie that delivered us this gem, Eurotrip, was also released because that's how time works. Get your shit together, reader.

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PostedMarch 31, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsEurotrip, 2004, Jeff Schaffer, Alec Berg, David Mandel, Scott Mechlowicz, Jacob Pitts, Michelle Trachtenberg, National Lampoon, European Vacation, American Pie, Travis Wester, Joanna Lumley
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Take Me Home Tonight (2011) spends all night spinning its wheels

A mess can be enjoyable. Something about watching a story competently fail is worthy of consideration. Take Me Home Tonight is my idea of a good mess, blending realistic outcomes to wacky hijinks and some pretty dumb shit.

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PostedMarch 28, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsTake Me Home Tonight, 2011, Michael Dowse, Jackie Filgo, Jeff Filgo, Topher Grace, Anna Faris, Dan Fogler, Chris Pratt, Teresa Palmer, Demetri Martin, Angie Everhart, Michael Biehn
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The Rule of Jenny Penn (2025) will hopefully not be with you at your end

Getting old seems like a giant pain in the ass. Your body and mind fail you, your support structures become few, and someone in better shape than you will terrorize you with a plastic doll. Life in a nursing home can be hell if you don't fall in line with The Rule of Jenny Penn.

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PostedMarch 26, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsRule of Jenny Pen, 2025, James Ashcroft, John Lithgow, Geoffrey Rush, Nathaniel Lee
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The Monkey (2025) will kill you or somebody near you

The Monkey's plot is a haphazard string of events created to get us to the bloody parts. Twin brothers find an evil toy monkey that kills people when it is wound up using the method of mysterious coincidence. The Monkey exists to entertain an audience with over the top splatter, not caring about who will die or really even when.

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PostedMarch 24, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsMonkey, 2025, Osgood Perkins, Theo James, Christian Convery
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It Could Happen To You (1994) is a fairy tale from another time

I know I watched this in the theater, but It Could Happen To You is such an afternoon TBS movie made to fill time that I believe I always felt that was its role. Not anything life changing, but a good time. Watching it now, I see the kindness and good nature of the film.

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PostedMarch 21, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsIt Could Happen To You, 1994, Nicholas Cage, Bridget Fonda, Isaac Hayes, Rosie Perez, Wendell Peirce, Stanley Tucci
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Stagecoach (1939) is a hell of a stunt show

Stagecoach jumpstarted the western genre by telling a simple story: a group of disparate individuals in a single vehicle traveling through dangerous terrain. Everyone had their own agenda and solidified the archetypes they represent. And it's also a hell of a western stunt show.

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PostedMarch 19, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsStagecoach, 1939, John Wayne, Claire Trevor, Thomas Mitchell, John Ford, Yakima Canutt
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Anora (2024) proves the grime of it all

Anora sets out to shine the light of truth on a classic story of a prostitute who marries a rich guy. Pretty Woman be damned as the heroine of our story is a disconnected vaping twenty-something not looking for anything but to get paid and do some good drugs. Our rich lothario spends most of his time on screen playing video games and being intoxicated. At the end of the movie you will be seduced by the grime of it all.

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PostedMarch 17, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsMikey Madison, Yura Borisov, Karren Karagulian, Vache Tovmasyan, Mark Eydelshteyn, Sean Baker, 2024
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Dice on a map

Stacks & Swords at the Library

If you want excitement, come on down to the library's game night where we play a rousing form of copyright-friendly role playing game excitement! Our homebrew game of Stacks & Swords invites teens and adults every month to become a member of the "Bibliotheca Animarum," an ancient library that hunts down books and artifacts that can harm humanity. We go to adventure the last Saturday afternoon of the month!

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PostedMarch 10, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
TagsStacks & Swords
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Signs of the Apocalypse from the Book Club

Here at the library we like to to think we are normal, everyday, eldritch being fearing folks. At the same time, we like to look around and see if there's a truth to that whole "the world is ending" thing. We took it to the book club, our general roundtable discussion group where we also do gobs of mushrooms. Here's what they said!

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PostedFebruary 26, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
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Boil the Wolverines

At the right place, the end of the shelf said "400-629," Jimmy found his way blocked by a giant stroller, a toddler pulling books from the shelf and letting them fall, and the behind of a woman bent over and waggling at him. The woman was also pulling books from the shelf, putting them back with a vengeance reserved for hammering nails into the coffin of an enemy.

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PostedFebruary 17, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
TagsJames Doogan, Library Everwinding
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Frozen Bug and Hit Man (2023)

A loose, useless metaphor and small discussion about the movie Hit Man (2023)

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PostedJanuary 27, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsHit Man, Glen Powell, Adria Arjona, Richard Linklater
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Sonic the Hedgehog 3: John Wickitude

The previous Sonic movies came and went, fun and fast and breezy with a good heart. Generally the tone of "found family" and "purpose of life" have been the undercurrent for slapstick nonsense. The trend continues in Sonic the Hedgehog 3 with a metric ton of forgettable jokes circling around a dark and chewy center of loss and pain.

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PostedJanuary 9, 2025
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesReviews
TagsSonic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog 3, Jeff Fowler, Ben Schwartz, Jim Carrey, Keanu Reeves, Pat Casey, Josh Miller, John Whittington
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Hello World

Dave and Nancy found the old computers while going through storage looking for children's costumes. At least, that's what they said they were doing. The two of them often find out of the way places to be alone.

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PostedNovember 25, 2024
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesFiction, Weekly
TagsNancy, Dave
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The Wrong Order

Two large wooden boxes marked with red text saying "Do Not Disturb" were delivered. I got Edgar, and the two of us struggled with them from the freight dock to the technical services room. Marge said we could put them anywhere that fit.

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PostedNovember 22, 2024
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesFiction, Weekly
TagsMarge, Edgar, Stevie Miller
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Eyes in the Stacks

It was a Tuesday when I first saw her face staring back at me. I had a loaded cart of nonfiction and was deep in the stacks. My eyes have been getting worse over the years, and even though I have transition glasses, the small call numbers caused some strain.

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PostedNovember 20, 2024
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesFiction, Weekly
TagsGerry
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Overcoming the Death Rattle

The library hums and clicks and clacks with the speed of time. Technology has replaced what came before; a baby's cry overcoming the death rattle. Yet we pretend these things are not so because who could replace us? Does being replaced mean we do not, have never, mattered?

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PostedNovember 18, 2024
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesFiction, Weekly
TagsBrenda
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Violence at the Circ Desk

Interesting things happen when you walk away from the circulation desk. You could come back to a line when you have not seen people all day. You could find a pile of materials, left for any reason but only a few logical. There can also be someone new when you get back.

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PostedNovember 13, 2024
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly, Fiction
TagsBrenda, Patty
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On Ghosts in Venice

Y'all ever seen a ghost? None of that "I was sitting in Pop-pop's favorite chair and felt a chill" shit. Pop-pop put his chair there because of the cold draft. He was used to it, liked it, and is not trying to tell you where his gold stamps are. So shut that shit. 

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PostedNovember 1, 2024
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly, Reviews
Tagsghosts, Haunting in Venice, Unsolved Mysteries, Kenneth Branagh
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Shots Fired

I got shot in the arms the day before yesterday. Not in the fun way. Flu and Covid, both at the same time, walking in there like a goddamn hero. 

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PostedOctober 30, 2024
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesWeekly
Tagsvaccination, vaccine, covid, flu, wellness
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Scare the crows

Are you working? She's small and squat and looking up at me from the other side of the reference desk.

     I said yes. Can I help?

     Probably not. I have this monkey at home that keeps eating my petunias.

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PostedOctober 28, 2024
AuthorBanned Library
CategoriesFiction
TagsReference Librarian, scarecrow, monkey
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