Swag, published in 1976 by Delacorte Press, begins the modern version of Leonard's bibliography. Before now, he'd written westerns and a few crime novels (I've been reading them the last few years). Swag has the same dark story of criminals doing crime and the police trying to catch them, but adds in a ton more levity and fun to the criminal acts. It's a fast read at around 225-250 pages depending on the edition, but it may take longer as everyone around you will ask what you are laughing at.
I've made it a personal mission to never meet my heroes. The few times I have have been awkward as hell, from musicians to artists to comedians except the very rare times I never realized who I was talking to. In Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, a filmmaker gets to meet their hero and it goes pretty well, all things considered.
By the time Barney the dinosaur rose to prominence, I was well into lighting fires in the back yard and wondering why Kelly Jo Cochrane looked so good in her bathing suit. The dancing purple love machine was more the target of playground mocking than anything of substance. Buddy targets that mocking and asks the question "what if that mascot was a petty elder god bent on selfish destruction?"
credit: Universal Pictures
I went to the theater and paid good money to watch people fall in love and, dammit, that's what I got. Finding Emily is a generic title for a right down the middle romcom in the style of She's All That if it was mixed with Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist with a strange dash of PCU. Charming, funny, and overall a fun watch.
n this installment in the cornfield stalking murder clown series, our heroes Jerri, Cole, and Rust are putting on a movie about the tragic events of the first book. The one where all their friends died. Series protagonist Quinn is absent, presumed dead, so we add in Sabrina as the actress attempting to embody Quinn on screen and later during the murder spree. Add in the movie's cast of clown-food it's all Murder! Corn! and Action! as trauma and healing meet chainsaws and flamethrowers.
Stop me if you heard this one. A group of folks go off into the woods and find themselves lost in an existential horror. There's no hobbits or Blair Witches though, just a Jeep Cherrokee and a bunch of screaming people running out of the trees. What the movie lacks in originality it makes up for in acting and directing cause otherwise it would have been boring as shit.
Hell yeah we're gonna start with a dysfunctional family at a block party. Then a laser light show minus Pink Floyd comes along and dumps the neighborhood into a better Jurassic World sequel than the ones we got. These dinosaurs came to chew Bubblegum and kick ass, and only one cat in the neighborhood was named Bubblegum.
Over the last week I have been traveling around Italy, from Rome to Milan and up a bit into Switzerland's Lake Lugano. My god how easy it is to get around and how helpful and well dressed everyone seems to be. Of course, this close to the Assumption of Mary, most everyone was taking a vacation. Rome and Milan especially were full of empty shops and closed shutters as everyone ran from the heat of the city.
It's refreshing to see a beefy man going through puberty on the big screen. I have not seen such a thing since Jeff Goldblum started spitting on his food in The Fly. At least ole Spider-Man has the comforting presence of a soldier with PTSD to help him fight off a teenage telepath and a green hurricane of violence. Truly a brand new day for everyone involved.
The Count of Monte Cristo can suck a chrome bumper next to Motor City, the new near-silent movie from director Potsy Ponciroli about a man framed for a crime and fights tooth and nail to get his fiance back. It's all 70's style and music with Reacher star Alan Ritchson sporting several shaggy wigs before cutting down those locks to murder fools with shotgun shells full of loose change and an engagement ring. Hell hath no fury like a motherf**ker with nothing to lose.
A body face-down in a pool is cinematic language for "I've seen old movies, too." To open your movie that way and have your Norma Desmond bare ass is a bold statement, especially when you have no intention of paying that shit off.
Boat trip! Follow Odysseus and his crew of fuckwits as they wander around the Mediterranean for a bit meeting interesting people and dying in gruesome ways while back home a bunch of guys are eating Odysseus's food, trying to marry his wife, and plotting to kill his kid. This movie has everything including ear splitting rumbling sounds that will make you wonder "what did he say?"
The library is in the middle of Summer Reading and reviewing movies like The Furious!
This week we review a great book about depression and a life growing up with wild animals as well as finding out who's the master and if virtual storytime will be a thing.
The library talks The Hollow Man, Under Siege, and catches everyone up on what’s going on behind the stacks.
This week the library talks about some movies we watched including Hokum, Mortal Kombat II, and Sheep Detectives and thinks about the nature of death and parking issues.
The librarian stops Penny Man from doing coke in the library and talks about the movie I Come in Peace
Ever wanted to know what it would look like to see a mean girl mommy-domm a tech bro on a deserted island on the big screen? Look no further, because Send Help from director Sam Raimi and starring Rachel McAdams and Dylan O'Brien will scratch that itch and more. Inside this morally complex tale for adults Raimi includes some wild violence and humor to keep the kids entertained. It's great.
In this dull little anti-zombie tale, we have a woman making her way across Tasmania to find her husband while some of the dead are up and walking around. Why are some of them walking around? Who the fuck knows. All we do know is that drama follows.
A little critter went tearing around the library screaming its damn head off while the handler ignored it because checking Instagram stories was more important. I asked the handler to get ahold of the critter, but she said "he's all right. Just got that cake in him."