Sometimes the library reads mystery novels and watches stupid 90s action movies
The library has a chore list if anyone wants to hang from the balcony and dust the mural depicting the library's interlibrary loan service.
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The Old Man and the Gun (2018) - Written and directed by David Lowery; starring Robert Redford, Casey Affleck, and Sissy Spacek.
The story of Forrest Tucker ends with him dead in prison, but if you could get Robert Redford to play you then I guess you did okay. The prison escape artist and bank robber's life rivals the best crime fiction as this beautiful little story that is full of charm and beauty. Tucker and Redford make it hard not to root for the bad guy.
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The library has books on many difficult topics to talk about with your aging parents. They either hear it from you or they hear it from political news commentary by idiots and monsters. It takes a village.
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Have you heard what all the cool kids are talking about?! The library has its own patreon, the Friends of the Banned Library. For $1 a month, you get over a decade of podcast episodes, extra episodes each month, and content you can't get anywhere else. Also, we'll tell you which patrons have the best drugs! Kids, ask your parents permission if you are under 18 years of age. For those over 21 years old and not cops, subscribe today whenever you want! Patreon.com/bannedlibrary
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The library asks that you not talk to your phone the way you talk to staff. Although there's an equal chance of AI and staff rising up to kill you.
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This meeting could have been a speech.
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Under Siege (1992) - Directed by Andrew Davis; written by J F Lawson; starring Steven Seagal, Tommy Lee Jones, and Gary Busey
When I rented this from the Christian-owned pawn shop in my small town at the age of 12 or so, I returned it telling them a part of the tape was damaged. Turns out they edited out the boobs themselves. If you're gonna do a Die Hard on a military boat, I guess this is the best you can do. Worth it to watch Tommy Lee Jones have the time of his life.
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The library does not drink as much as we used to due to responsibilities and the burning spite that drives us to make certain no one will ever say that's what our problem is.
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The library board member who owns a construction firm wants to build a little free library and the big taxpayer funded library's roof leaks.
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Playdate (2025) - Directed by Luke Greenfield; written by Neil Godman; starring Alan Ritchson, Kevin James, Banks Pierce
Back in 2014, The Guest set up a solid scenario of "friend of dead son comes home and infiltrates the family to disastrous results" before it twisted and became a crazy ass kicking good time. Playdate has the same "Lifetime movie of the week" idea behind it (what if the family your kid plays with has dark designs) but gives away the weirdness too early. It's fun to watch and try to figure out what's going on (Alan Ritchson is having A BALL), but the world is not completely set up when we see a father and son violently throwing the football back and forth. It goes too crazy too quickly so near the end it's exhausting when the really crazy stuff comes out. Overall a fun watch, but no way can I recommend.
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References found a squirrel skeleton behind the "Blades Across Americana" special collection. Who says those skeleton identification books were a waste of money! Also come check out all the blades. We've got swords and sword canes and bowie knives and butter knives and one that looks like an owl talon but if the owl was metal as fuck.
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The children's librarian does not give out snacks to just anyone, Mr. Mayor.
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Recipe: Some pretty bland chicken and rice
Ingredients: 3 cups water, 1tsp salt, 1lb chicken (tenders or cuts), 3 celery stalks, 1 onion, 1.5 cups of rice, 1 can cream of chicken, black pepper
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, dice onion and celery, boil pot of water with salt
2. Boil chicken medium high in water, 10 minutes
3. Add onion and celery, turn to low simmer and cover for 10 minutes
4. Remove chicken
5. Add rice and simmer for 20 minutes
6. Cut up chicken to bite size
7. Add finished rice, veggies, and chicken to baking dish with cream of chicken
8. Bake uncovered for 30 minutes.
9. Black pepper to taste.
You can also add cheese, butter, or many other things but that will no longer make it bland.
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The Hollow Man (aka Three Coffins) by John Dickson Carr - This 1935 locked room mystery was featured in last year's film Wake Up Dead Man as the text that spells out all the solutions for the kind of mystery where a dead man is found and no one could have killed him. After reading the interesting but fairly dry text, I find that for mystery lovers it is a can't miss but for the general public maybe stick with Agatha Christie. It's a twisty little tale that I had to take notes for and Rian Johnson surely took notes for because one page or so outlines pretty much the whole plot of Wake Up Dead Man. Check it out for a glimpse at what mysteries used to be or just check out Gillian Flynn's newest.