Don't Let Primate (2025) in the Library
A little critter went tearing around the library screaming its damn head off while the handler ignored it because checking Instagram stories was more important. I asked the handler to get ahold of the critter, but she said "he's all right. Just got that cake in him."
While she was ignoring the world outside her phone that critter pulled a row of DVDs off the shelf then went over to the computers and pulled at the headphones of Big Ted. Big Ted glared at the little bastard with one of those looks that will melt the paint off your car's dashboard. The critter froze for a second then yelled again something about his daddy being a cannibal or something.
I caught the eye of Heather and she gave me a look that said I better let her eye go. She was busy with a bunch of critters covered in glitter.
The authorities won't let us use the nets anymore on the critters, so I did the next best thing. I threw books at the child.
Batman, Spider-man, Wonder Woman, War and Peace… I tossed every fancy title I could at the little one causing mayhem in our library. He caught the Wonder Woman and ripped out a page and for a moment I channeled my mother and wished for a plastic ping pong paddle to meet the child's bottom. I'm not saying physical punishment has ever been correct but wishing ain't doing.
Back to the sorta mother, I told her she'll have to pay for the book or leave. I think I got my picture taken and put up on Instagram for that but they did leave like a tornado in a trailer park as she pulled the critter by the arm.
I was thinking of that while watching Primate, a little creature feature where a monkey goes Cujo on some CW actors in search of a network.