Archives (n.) - a place where many librarians belong
Cell phone (n.) - a device that only works when yelled at
Chair (v.) - To position ones self at the head of a meaningless committee
Martha will chair the craft circle committee next year and her position is more crafts.
Computer (n.) - A device that makes fools of us all when we are not paying attention
Donation Box (n.) - A collection of donated items no one wants
Hold (v.) - The process by which a librarian fights with another librarian over the phone for a book neither of them wants
Lost and Found (n.) - A collection of donated items someone may want
Microfilm (n.) - Where newspaper goes to die
Phone (n.) - A device that only works when whispered into very quiet while the other person is in a loud library environment
Reference (n.) - a library service dependent on more questions than answers
Signage (n.) - An invisible creation of information and protection only made visible by a pointed finger