Shared Dream is the most cliche thing I've written
Jason wakes up in a world without a sky. Check out this cliche story that by the end will have you wondering.... Wait, are we still in a dream? SHARED DREAM: It'll make you SLEEPY.
Read MoreKitchen Condolences: Anthony Bourdain Gave His Life
From the year 2000 to 2003, I worked in a lot of varied jobs to pay my rent while I went to college. A lot of those jobs were in kitchens, those hot and sweaty and crowded dens of iniquity. Years after, I read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain and was transported to those times and those people with a strange sense of nostalgia and love. This past week Mr. Bourdain took his own life, casting my mind back to other memories of that time.
Read MoreThe Man Stacks Books by ST Harker
The man stacked books. They started small. A few little book stacks on tables here and there left at the end of the day. People do that. Shelver Becca called me in one day to look at them.
Read MoreSuggestion Box
Earlier today, I checked the library suggestion box.
Don't ever check the library suggestion box. Just let the damn thing sit there and get full. When it's full, take it to the back, further back past the circulation librarian's office, past the technical services desk, past the table with tape all over it because that's how you fix books. Take it to the back dark corner of the workroom and set it down.
Next you need a metal trash can. If you do not have a metal trash can, can you even call yourself a library?
Take the metal trash can and drag it over to the dark corner in the back of the library. If there is anything in the metal trash can not worth burning, take it out.
Start a fire with your library-issued chrome lighter. Use what you can, but make it hot and make it burn. Broken pallets work best or pine wood for scent.
When the yellow and orange cleansing bath has been drawn, pick up the suggestion box. Hold it tight and close to the flames. Lid out, at an angle, open the box.
There may be a force from the escaping suggestions. Allow the box to cradle in your arm, much like a baby attempting to get down but a baby that needs to eat. Eat baby, eat, you say as you tip the open suggestion box forward to the fire.
When you are done, feel free to return the box to the circulation desk. It's presence makes people feel better. As if they are being listened to.
If you have a question or comment for the library, reach out to us on our contact page, twitter, or email. Never Facebook or its hell spawn Instagram. Or maybe.
Battle of Big Bug and other books available on Banned Library Books
I know you know that the library has a podcast about books that have been banned or challenged or holy shit I'm not doing that. What you might not know is that we write fiction!
Read MoreNick Cutter might be my new favorite horror writer
For the last few days, I've been on an audio book binge on Nick Cutter. If you don't know the name but like horror novels, boy howdy you're about to get excited.
Read MoreGame of Thrones, Season 2, Episode 4 Review "Garden of Bones"
Three episodes down in this season and we might, might get a fight soon. Mostly everyone is postering and blowing smoke up each other's asses. For the most part, though, this episode is all about leadership and the eternal question of who has the power and who deserves it.
Tip the Carrier
The news paper thunked against the front steps of the library and bounced into the bushes. Evan sighed, put the car in park, and got out. He crossed the library lawn to get the paper where it needed to go.
Read MoreGuardians of the Galaxy and Thanos Were the Heart of Avengers: Infinity War
Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, and Captain America all got an entry when talking about the two and a half hour Avengers: Infinity War in past blogs. Now I'm gonna zone in on the two areas that, for me, formed what is wrong and right about the movie: Guardians of the Galaxy and Thanos.
Read MoreCaptain America and the Rest had Little To Do in Avengers: Infinity War
More Avengers talk as we dive into Captain America and why he’ll totally die next time. Plus some other thoughts on people that didn’t really matter that much.
Read MoreHulk Proves Avengers: Infinity War is Half an Idea
Avengers: Infinity War reviews are fun to write because there's just so much. Over the last few days, I covered that I don't like spoilers, that Iron Man learned that fighting back was useless, and that Thor unlearned everything he had learned from his movies. Now we're gonna get into Bruce Banner and his alter ego Hulk and really learn that this movie is kinda unreviewable.
Read MoreThor and Avengers: Infinity War Did Not Learn Their Lessons
Thor really didn’t learn a damn thing when his daddy died, huh?
Read MoreIron Man and Avengers: Infinity War (2018) Had People Keep Showing Up
The review so long that I split it up. Here we have an overview of my feelings on spoilers, Spider-Man, and Iron Man’s portion of the film. More to come!
Read MoreGame of Thrones, Season 2, Episode 3 Review, "What Is Dead May Never Die"
Everybody's setting up someone on this episode of fantasy geopolitical camp. Tyrion's teaching school in King's Landing while Theon and Arya are learning lessons. Let's travel around and see what everybody learned.
Read MoreDear Vendor from a Company That is Not ReferenceUSA,
Dear vendor from a company similar but is not at all ReferenceUSA,
Nobody wants your shit. Nobody. Not my grandma, not my little brother, not any of the other people I make up to deny you. Not a single person on this material plane or the next.
Read MoreDirections for Solving the Library's Escape Room
You find yourself in a locked room. Two bookcases are along one wall. A door is across from them. The door has a dozen locks, all different and all requiring a code, key, or fingerprint. The door is solid as the walls. In the corner, you hear the hiss of air from a vent.
To escape this room, do the following:
Read MoreLibrary Llorona
I guess you'll know the end when it comes, she said.
I did not know what the hell she was talking about. The end of what, I said.
The woman in the blue dress smiled and became beautiful with that smile. Her teeth brightened, her eyes sparkled, her cheeks filled with color. Her face leaned in.
Read MoreObjects in the Library
The library walls are filled with forgotten items. A few of them have stories, going back to the beginning. Here are my favorites:
Read MoreRampage (2018) felt too self aware that it was a big animal fight club movie
Look, I'm gonna say it so nobody else has to: people like to watch animals fight. Man vs Man is the most common of our movie going experiences, but the wide world out there in real life pits man against beast, chicken versus chicken, dog versus dog, and tortoise versus hare. With Rampage, we see a full acknowledgement of this with The Rock versus Flying Porcupine Wolf, Warthog Alligator, and Big Ape.
Read MoreLet's Have a Chat, Lost Pizza Man
What makes you think you can walk into my library carrying a pizza and not having a clue who it's for?
That's pretty fucked up, Brett.
Read More