The Worst Library on the Internet
The Worst Library on the Internet
"Paige, we wanted to talk to you about some of the displays you have been creating," Jaime said.
I said, "There have been some complaints."
"Was there any display in particular that was worse than the others?" Paige asked.
Read MoreAll kinds of people come to the reference desk with their minds bursting with questions. Do you have tax forms? How did the local sports team do at the recent sports match? Paper or boxers?
An old man came to me and the following conversation happened.
Read MoreProfessional sex havers get hacked apart in the woods and explore what desire and freedom can do when taken from you.
Read MoreComparing Batman to Superman by lookng at what makes them who they are.
Read MoreWhy does Batman keep a secret identity? Sure, stocks at Wayne Enterprises might go down if everyone found out Bruce Wayne was beating up poor people every night. Imagine the social media uproar.
Read MoreI whine about how secret identities are not really a thing unless you consider the ones you do everyday.
Read MoreThe bookmobile shuttered to a stop. The grinding of the parking brake settled the large lumbering vehicle like an elephant stopping from a run to get a drink. The body shook as someone moved within.
Read MoreWho's got three thumbs and likes to beat criminals senseless? What has three city officials killed, a mobster put to his crimes, and a masked maniac who loves another masked maniac? If you said Batman to either of those, then you saw Matt Reeves's The Batman and also The Dark Knight.
Read MoreStudio 666, the new horror film starring the Foo Fighters is a little creepy, kinda funny, and full of "Who let these maniacs into the theater?"
Read MoreCyrano, starring Peter Dinklage and some other people, is a musical, something I do not think the advertising liked to talk about to the point where some guy in the back row said, "The fuck" when the singing started.
Read MoreThe library asks that you not go into the study room alone unless you want to stay that way.
Read MoreMr Jacobs's bright orange hair cleared the reference desk. It stuck out in spikes, three inch tubes that tapered to fine waxed points here and there. The face paint smeared itself on the mask just under his big red nose.
Read MoreIf you see one movie about the moon trying to kill everyone on Earth, then maybe try out Moonfall, Roland Emerich's latest beefy fuck you to all science and human emotion everywhere.
Read MoreThe baying of hounds began the hunt. They howled and raged and pulled at their leashes. Behind them a large man in a fur cloak filled the library door. He snapped the heavy leather that wrapped around their necks.
"Hunt, my hounds," he said in a deep bass that rattled the metal shelving.
Read MoreThe sound came from the nonfiction stacks. A lovely sound, low and feminine. The kind of sound that starts in the chest and rises not to escape the throat, but to leave it wanting.
It had been a long day. The reference librarian had been yelled at over masks, over food, and over noise. He was over confronting patrons.
Read More"No, that's not true. That can't be true!" a patron screamed from the reference section.
The reference librarian walked to the reference desk, no hurry, and picked up the phone.
"You calling the police?" the circulation librarian asked.
"Naw, gotta call the Family," the reference librarian said.
Read More"If that's true, I'll cut you," the reference librarian said holding her best knife in one hand and an axe in the other.
The director nodded, saying, "Yeah, it looks like it might be the case."
"But we need pages," the reference librarian said.
"Not as much as we need computers. Or books."
Read MoreOne morning the reference librarian found a body by the book drop. Older gentleman slumped over like he got real tired after a marathon and just crumpled. Sometimes running a long life can do that.
The paramedics took him away on a stretcher. The children's librarian thought she would get to see one of those black bags, but they just loaded him up and slipped a white sheet over his pale form. Later we found out it was a heart attack.
Read MoreWe never noticed the art in the library. All those paintings and little sculptures that seemed to come with the walls. The faces blended in the best.
Read MoreThe library shelving robot was drunk. Or whatever you would call a robot swerving around the library throwing books at patrons.
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