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The Worst Library on the Internet

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Sometimes the library reads mystery novels and watches stupid 90s action movies

May 18, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly, Reviews

The library talks The Hollow Man, Under Siege, and catches everyone up on what’s going on behind the stacks.

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May 18, 2026 /Banned Library
Old Man and the Gun, David Lowery, Robert Redford, Casey Affleck, Sissy Spacek, Under Siege, Andrew Davis, J F Lawson, Steven Seagal, Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey, Playdate, Luke Greenfield, Neil Godman, Alan Ritchson, Kevin James, Banks Pierce, Hollow Man, Three Coffins, John Dickson CArr
Weekly, Reviews
Comment

The library bookstore does not give returns unless you don't want your money back.

May 11, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly, Reviews

This week the library talks about some movies we watched including Hokum, Mortal Kombat II, and Sheep Detectives and thinks about the nature of death and parking issues.

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May 11, 2026 /Banned Library
Hokum, Damien McCarthy, Adam Scott, Peter Coonan, David Wilmot, Mission Impossible Final Reckoning, Mission Impossible, Christopher McQuarrie, Erik Jendresen, Tom Cruise, Haley Atwell, Ving Rhames, Ted Turner, Mortal Kombat, Simon McQuoid, Jeremy Slater, Karl Urban, Adeline Rudolph, Jessica McNamee, Beyond the Stars, David Saperstein, Martin Sheen, Christian Slater, Sharon Stone, Sheep Detectives, Kyle Balda, Craig Maison, Hugh Jackman, Emma Thompson, Nicholas Braun
Weekly, Reviews
Comment

This week's story time will be a tale old as time to help young children remember to obey their parents. It's Bloody Bones and Rawhead time!

May 04, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

This week's story time will be a tale old as time to help young children remember to obey their parents. It's Bloody Bones and Rawhead time!

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May 04, 2026 /Banned Library
Rawhead and Bloody Bones, glitter, lost and found, summer space camp
Weekly
Comment

The library does not allow weddings on the premises, including the roof.

April 27, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

The library aggressively launches LAIbrary programs and help as well as the normal weekly announcements.

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April 27, 2026 /Banned Library
oral history, Amalode Jenkins, LAIbrary, Violent Maniacs MC
Weekly
Comment

Children's has a problem and the only solution is more glitter!

April 20, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

The weekly newsletter about library programs and events including announcements about Walpurgisnacht, the spring staff party, and a Heard around the Library section!

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April 20, 2026 /Banned Library
Walpurgisnacht, branch library, Chilton, Spring Staff Party, seed library, community garden, awareness, prom, heard around the library
Weekly
Comment

The bookmobile is providing ride share as a side hustle. Don't throw up on the books, please.

April 13, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

The library is offering free tax help and a new installment of Library & Order.

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April 13, 2026 /Banned Library
Spring Survival Reading, bookmobile, taxes, Library and Order, Reference Librarian
Weekly
Comment

The circulation desk lives on your tears. Since we went fine free it has been dying.

April 06, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

An update on the library stapler and glowing tome as well as an oral history about an encounter with a drunken bear.

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April 06, 2026 /Banned Library
stapler, glowing tome, spring break, oral history
Weekly
Comment

The library wants to remind everyone that playing pranks in the building Wednesday, April 1st, will end in pain and screaming and a permanent ban.

March 30, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

This week’s newsletter contains information about Fool’s Day and Eostre celebrations as well as an itinerary for the Spring Survival Reading Program.

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March 30, 2026 /Banned Library
Fools Day, bookmobile, stapler, Eoster, Spring Survival Reading
Weekly
Comment

Story time this week will be a story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. It's a banger.

March 23, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

The library has updates on St. Patrick’s Day, the equinox, various programs, and a sample of a library interview.

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March 23, 2026 /Banned Library
St Patrick's Day, Scream
Weekly
Comment

The library group chat is mostly memes about things burning.

March 16, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

This week the library talks about Astronomy Now!, a St Patrick’s Day program, voting rights, and much more!

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March 16, 2026 /Banned Library
Astronomy Now, St Patrick's Day
Weekly
Comment

The library reserves the right of trial by combat for damaged books.

March 09, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

The library reserves the right of trial by combat for damaged books.

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March 09, 2026 /Banned Library
Last Drive-in, Joe Bob Briggs, fountain, Eoster, Wuthering Heights, colonoscopy
Weekly
Comment

The bookmobile has Children's Department programs that may involve glitter. We do not have a "girl that runs shine."

March 02, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

The bookmobile has Children's Department programs that may involve glitter. We do not have a "girl that runs shine."

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March 02, 2026 /Banned Library
oral history, bookmobile, Spring Survival Reading
Weekly
Comment

The library will no longer allow service alligators.

February 23, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

Thoughts and happenings from around the library from February 2026

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February 23, 2026 /Banned Library
Good Luck, Have Fun, and Don't Die, 2026, Gore Verbinski, Matthew Robinson, Sam Rockwell, Juno Temple, Haley Lu Richardson
Weekly
Comment

The library phone is for emergencies or really cool prank calls only.

February 18, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

Missives from the library

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February 18, 2026 /Banned Library
phone
Weekly
Comment

Luke in the Library

February 16, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

Every library where I have worked has Luke Skywalker as a patron. Luke was set up in my first week at each institution. He's checked out display materials, put book club books on hold, and reserved spaces all over the library. Luke is my silent library partner.

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February 16, 2026 /Banned Library
Luke Skywalker
Weekly
Comment

I like watching fire

February 09, 2026 by Banned Library in Weekly

I like watching fire. There's a comfort to the leaping flames. The sound of crystalline crackles of destruction as wood combusts feels like home to me. It's been that way since I learned to make it.

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February 09, 2026 /Banned Library
fire, depression
Weekly
Comment

I Come in Peace (1990) to the Library

February 02, 2026 by Banned Library in Reviews, Weekly

The librarian stops Penny Man from doing coke in the library and talks about the movie I Come in Peace

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February 02, 2026 /Banned Library
i come in peace, Dolph Lundgren, Brian Benben, 1990
Reviews, Weekly
Comment

At the library We Bury The Dead (2025)

January 19, 2026 by Banned Library in Reviews, Weekly

In this dull little anti-zombie tale, we have a woman making her way across Tasmania to find her husband while some of the dead are up and walking around. Why are some of them walking around? Who the fuck knows. All we do know is that drama follows.

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January 19, 2026 /Banned Library
We Bury the Dead, Daisy Ridley, Zak Hilditch
Reviews, Weekly
Comment

Staple of a Media Diet

October 03, 2025 by Banned Library in Weekly

Media matters. It shapes our perspective on places and people. Gives us information on topics that might have been forgotten. Stories and music and culture bleed through the spurting noise that humans make everyday to try and communicate with the past, present, and future. People want to be noticed, so they create.

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October 03, 2025 /Banned Library
circulation librarian, circulation desk
Weekly
Comment

AI Issues

October 01, 2025 by Banned Library in Weekly

Helping people is difficult. Rewarding at times but often strange as you peer into the face of another human being and wonder what the hell is happening behind that stressed expression. My general rule of thumb after years in reference is to ask "What the hell are you going to do with this information?"

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October 01, 2025 /Banned Library
Reference Librarian
Weekly
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