Hello Back to School!
Ah the time of the year when everyone is tired of the hot weather, the smoke is thick in the sky, and the children are beginning to get restless. They have been free for months and are comfortable with that freedom. Time to take it away and prepare them for the capitalist system they were born into.
To help ease into the "Back to School" mentality, the library has developed several programs to help. We have physical, mental, and generalized labor programs for your child to perform every day of the week. For physical, we have a large project that requires many small hands and backs to move the entire reference collection six feet to the right to make room for the reference librarian's pet project: Pet Rock Display. For mental, our technical services department has over 100 hours of data entry available for those students who qualify for work from home but will be forced to come into the library to type away endlessly between "team building" meetings. Our generalized work includes filling out forms with no meaning or instructions, bookmobile engine repair, brainstorming team building meetings, and much more. If you want your child prepared for school, bring them down to the library! We'll prepare them for the real world, too.
To help further the transition for parents, we have many home and library activities available as well! Come see our many craft and cooking books to make things around the home when the little ones have left the nest. Browse our travel section for places near and far you might someday get to visit if your child survives the hellscape of the American education and medical systems and can be left alone with only an iPad and their dreams. We also have many self help and memoirs to help you learn that you are not alone in being completely baffled by the creatures that sprung from your loins.
The library will help everyone in this Back to School transition!
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Join the Friends of the Banned Library!
A roaring fire. A bear skin rug. Mountain peaks in the distance in the windows of the cabin where you are hiding. Witness protection can be hard, but don't make it impossible. Subscribe to the Friends of the Banned Library patreon and gain access to over 15 years of blogs, podcasts, and other dribblings to while away the hours. Only $1 a month! Patreon.com/bannedlibrary
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Children's Corner - What's happening in the children's department this week!
Story Time every day at noon and 5pm. Tuesdays and Thursdays, morning stories at 5am.
Just Say Maybe to Drugs - Tuesday, Aug. 11 at 3pm. An inspiring talk from an artist and former talk show host Glenn Maddox will have your children thinking which drugs are right for them.
Potato Picking - Thursday, Aug. 13 at 4am. Come help Farmer Merriweather dig in the garden and find wondrous tubers hidden in the soil. No adults, bring your own shovel.
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Reference Nook - New services and books for all your information needs!
How to Fail a Test by Eugene Answers - A humorous guidebook on how to fail most tests. Advice includes chapters like "Marking everything C," "Fight the Teacher," and "Why show up at all?" Reference collection, not available to check out.
Totally Todd: The Todd Browning Story by Todd Browning. This memoir answers the question: Who is Todd Browning? A delightful narrative through the ups and downs of being someone named Todd Browning. Biographies, B Browning
Not a Citizenship Class - In this class, we will not prepare immigrants to the United States for the 2008 Civics test, not advise on which paperwork needs to filled out and when, and not how to spot a government agent who wishes to kidnap you and send you to a random country because the morons in charge just want you gone. Not on Friday, Aug. 14th at 6pm.
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Circulation Station - What we've been reading/watching
Movie: Green for Danger (1946), directed by Sidney Gilliat and starring Trevor Howard and Sally Gray. This British war murder mystery involves a patient being murdered during the bombing of England in World War 2. A slow story with an interesting detective.
Comics: Captain America (2004) #37-42 (2008) "The Man Who Bought America Part 1-6" by Ed Brubaker, Steve Epting, and Butch Guice. Sharon Carter is pregnant with the dead Steve Roger's baby, and Bucky has taken up the Captain America mantle to inspire others. Can they defeat the evil Red Skull and his modern day machinations?
Theater: Motor City, I Want Your Sex, and Spider-Man: Brand New Day reviews are up. All are enjoyable.
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Tech Serv's Stewpot - Could be a recipe or a random rant from a crazy person shoved in the back of the library and left alone too long!
My mama used to make the best country fried steak and on the side she'd serve green beans and fried okra and mashed potatoes and biscuits, all covered with a creamy sausage gravy. Some Sundays she'd make a hashbrown casserole and we'd take turns slapping her cause that's the only way to show love when someone goes out like that. If she made a dirt cake, we'd just leave the house for a while cause if we stayed we'd have killed her.
Anyway, if you want to make scrambled eggs, here you go: open the eggs and dump them in a bowl. Swish'em around a while until they're all yellow. Heat up a pan sorta hot, like low to medium somewhere in there. Add some fat, like butter or bacon or olive oil or whatever. Then dump in your eggs and let them sit for a moment. Then when the bottom gets all slimy, push'em around a bit. Not a lot. Then some more. Keep doing that until they're all almost looking like scrambled eggs. Then I dump in some cheese and sausage and bacon and spinach or whatever and push'em around some more. Dump them on a plate. If you drop some, call your dog over and let them eat. Always have a poison tester, my mamma said before she made a seven course meal from the Julia Child book and we had to kill her for her own good.