GNU Giles and other musings
The library finds your lack of faith in the printer disturbing. Probably because you don't know how to do it.
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GNU Anthony Stewart Head. While we were already working at a library when Buffy the Vampire Slayer premiered on television, we still find him to be king of librarians on television. Helpful and organized with a quick wit and quicker battleax swing, we think his singing skills would have led to a great story time. Mr. Head was a delight when and wherever he appeared, and we wish his family well in this time.
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Reference fact of the week: If you drop a penny from the top floor of the library's tallest tower, it will fall at a rate of 25 to 65 mph (40 to 105 km/h), depending on how it tumbles and other variables like wind. Coincidentally, this is approximately how fast the reference librarian's foot will fly up your ass if you do so.
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The library will be hosting a paint and sip next weekend after the rousing success of this weekend's program. Once again, we will have a case of beer and some exterior house paint and everyone will meet at the Director's house at 8am. Painting will continue until the house has one good coat on it a day. The Director's wife has asked that "all you sons of bitches better stay outside off my new carpet." Pizza will be served at 1pm. Bring your own change of clothes.
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The library taco Tuesday email was a staff only email that was released to the public. There is no official public library taco Tuesday program.
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Do you ever wonder where your money goes when you subscribe to the Friends of the Banned Library on Patreon? You should not. Those thoughts are not for kind, wonderful people like you. Unless you're cool with hookers and blow. Subscribe to Patreon.com/bannedlibrary and help make the librarians happy.
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Children's corner: We are so happy that so many of you come to story time! Understanding that everyone has their own needs is important, however we must insist that you police your own allergies and accommodations. While we have healthy and nutritious snacks that contain no gluten, nuts, or dairy, we have had many other requests for specific maladies that we cannot fulfill. Such maladies include: insect intolerance, paper-based myalgia, stomach lice, bright light fascination syndrome, high chair phobia, bus wheel-based vertigo, sudden alcoholic dropsy, potato knee, swine enhanced podiatrism, eye stye fly by, and yellow cough. We support you, but we can not accommodate you all.
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"Cry 'Havoc!' and let slip the dogs of war" will be this week's Summer Reading Program theme.
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The Lego Batman Movie (2017) marvels the eyes with technical feats, deep lore pulls, and hilarious jokes coming one right after the other. That being said, I do not like it.
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The library has been having a "Robert Duvall Walks in and Owns the Movie" marathon. Here are the titles so far:
The Paper (1994) - he's a smoking boss who just learned he has cancer
Falling Down (1993) - he's the cop on his last day of a desk job he never wanted hunting a maniac nobody else believes exists
Mash (1970) - he's the protagonist of another movie, finding love and being harassed for his religious beliefs
Days of Thunder (1990) - he's the NASCAR crew pit chief who will make a driver out of Tom Cruise yet
Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) - he's the elder car thief who owns property so his house is home base
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House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune - Linus goes to a remote island to evaluate a home for magical youth and finds himself coming of age as a socially conscious man. Damn good and well-written with no clear antagonist but the system that controls the magic of the world. Picks up where X-Men leave off for social commentary and worth it if you like dark humor without all the violence some books like this prop themselves up with.
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Overheard at the circulation desk: "I want a book that has love and sex but mostly sex. Like just wall to wall naked people. But not for procreation. That's for the Lord."
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The library asks that the person who keeps leaving post-it notes in books to please stop leaving post-it notes in books. Some of the books are more post-it than book.
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Hemlock and Silver by T Kingfisher (Ursula Vernon) - Anja, the resident poison expert and sorta healer, is tasked by the king to find out what is wrong with his young daughter Snow. A take on Snow White that starts like a medieval episode of House MD and then hard turns into a looking-glass fantasy take on Snow White. Enjoyable and interesting characters and an interesting mystery are somewhat flattened by the fantasy leanings that explain the plot, but the ride is worth the read.
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The library staff is playing the lottery, so if you come and the place is closed up you know what happened. Or it might be a holiday. Check a calendar.