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To the Class of 2025: Fuck all Y'all

June 04, 2025 by Banned Library in Weekly

The following is a transcript of a valedictorian speech given to the Banned Library School of Mad Library Science graduates of 2025 by Jessie Marlborough on May 30, 2025.

Hi everybody, including the dean, The Director, faculty, staff, and my fellow students. Thanks for coming to my graduation.

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June 04, 2025 /Banned Library
commencement, valedictorian, LAIbrary
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To the Class of 2025: Don't Forget Your Radiation Suit

June 02, 2025 by Banned Library in Weekly

A transcript of a commencement speech given to the Banned Library School of Mad Library Science graduates of 2025 given by The Director on May 30, 2025.

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June 02, 2025 /Banned Library
commencement, Banned Library School, Mad Library Science, LAIbrary
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Computers and Old Ways

August 16, 2024 by Banned Library in Weekly

The world has gotten too big to catalog. Always was, really, the hubris of scientists to get every little animal a name has been never ending. But what about if we made the machines do it. If we made a machine and called it Adam and had it name every creature then maybe we could really do something with the cosmos. We could play at being gods, finally.

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August 16, 2024 /Banned Library
artificial intelligence, LAIbrary, Butchery, Jam-boree, Back to School
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Just to Remember Robin Williams

August 12, 2024 by Banned Library in Weekly

Ten years ago I lived on a mountain in Virginia working at a little gift shop and hiking all day. One day after my shift I was tired and ready to go to my little cot in the shared dorm when a waitress said, "Did you hear? Robin Williams killed himself." My soul broke a little as this man who had made me laugh and cry and inspired me to keep a little bit of madness in my heart was no more. Oh Captain, my captain.

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August 12, 2024 /Banned Library
Robin Williams, Movies, Reference Lamp 3000, Butchery, Steve the Demon Butcher, LAIbrary
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