Existential Slip and Slide
Hell of a week getting back into the swing of things, let me tell you. Right away we went from rising with the sun in Italy and finding beautiful images to share to squinting into the sunrise and spotting a leaf and saying, "That'll do." Hope springs eternal that the relaxed mind can continue, but sometimes that shit just lives outside of your natural life.
Pressures abound. Chores and checklists and events and all the things that fill the day seem to tumble around like a cactus in a tornado. Careful, careful or you will get hit in the face and spend the rest of the day picking out spines when you should be doing laundry.
Maybe sit with a friend here and there. Relax outside your house in a movie theater or on a run. Get away at least in your mind so when the soul crushers ask you to do one more thing because they see your plate is empty after you worked so goddamn hard to empty it all damn day and just want a moment of peace but they shovel more because "you've got room on your plate" goddamn it… Drink water and take a walk.
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Join the Friends of the Banned Library!
Have you seen the inside of your own mind? Can you question your existence when you have not proven your own being? When was the first time you realized that Death stalks you and all that you love and why has your brain not melted from the realization that you once were not and will someday will be not again? Join the Friends of the Banned Library! We don't do therapy, but we really like questions! Patreon.com/bannedlibrary
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Children's Corner - What's happening in the children's department this week!
Lawn Darts - Join the children's librarian on the south lawn of the library near the old barn for some good old fashioned not exactly legal fun! Just because you can't sell them, does not mean you cannot make your own giant death darts. Tuesday, August 25.
Hiking into Darkness - Story time is getting a little more candlelit this week! Every night at midnight, bring your little ones to the Branch Library for a calm, relaxing hike in the pitch-dark woods toward the Hidden Room. Every day at midnight!
Owls Vs Squirrels - Around sunset, the library west lawn becomes a battle ground of ferocious combat. Inside the three dogwoods and one longleaf pine live a small colony of squirrels equipped with weapons forged in the heart of battle against the owls that swoop in from the Accessible Woods nearby. Zoologist Beth Tambora will join us to do a play by play when the owls begin their hunt and every choice means death. Weekdays at sunset (approx. 7-8pm).
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Reference Nook - Information from the Reference Desk based on programs, new items, or questions from the public
Hanging a Television - Do you want to learn how to hang a television? So do we! Join library handyman and Taskrabbit account holder Jeff Lazier as he walks you through downloading the Taskrabbit app, setting up a Taskrabbit account, and picking the right person for the job. Wednesday, August 26 at 6pm.
What's a trilogy? - This question comes to the reference desk all the time. Webster's dictionary has the definition, some shit about created works or some shit. Here's the real answer:
Part 1 - The hero gets power and kicks ass. Ex. Star Wars where a fucking farmboy rescues a princess, learns he has superpowers, and blows shit up.
Part 2 - The villain says "oh, yeah? Fuck you." Ex. Empire Strikes Back - Vader spends the whole time reminding everyone he's a bad ass motherfucker and freezing people and shit.
Part 3 - War. The hero and villain have friends they can send toward each other in violence where the hero fucks shit up. Ex. Return of the Jedi - Luke and his friends beat the piss out of Vader and his friends.
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Circulation Station - What we've been reading/watching
It Ends (2025) - Another horror movie where it forces young people to think "oh goodness, me, life is bleak" and old people to throw back another beer and handful of chips and say "yup, it do be like that."
The End of Oak Street (2026) - A throwback to genre filmmaking where the audience could just have fun and not have to worry about all the implications of a bunch of dinosaurs eating your neighbors.
Lanterns, Season 1 Episode 1 - While the internet seems more concerned about the Friday Night Lights of it all, this gave me the feeling Andor did. Something adult and interesting has entered the superhero landscape, and I hope it holds true.
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Tech Serv's Stewpot - Could be a recipe or a random rant from a crazy person shoved in the back of the library and left alone too long!
Heating a Frozen Sandwich - There's a difficulty in warming up a frozen sandwich like a pocket of hotness or James Dean's sausage bombs. Here's my step by step for perfection everytime:
1 minute upside down on full power
flip it and rotate 32 degrees clockwise cooking for 42 seconds, full power
rotate 8 degrees in winter OR 6 degrees in summer when it's above 76F (24C), 10.3 seconds on 35 percent power
flip it again, cut it in half, another 10.3 seconds on 32 percent power
Enjoy!