Birthday, coming from the Greek word "birth" meaning "shoved into the world" and "scream crying" and "day" because we as modern humans have decided to decide time matters when the sun sets and rises rather than the moon having a shadow or the sun slowly retreating to bring upon us an icy death.
The Banned Library opened many years ago. Some say it sprang forth fully formed from the head of a god, but those people are confusing the library with the Greek goddess Athena. No, we were spilled from a drunken bottle of whiskey onto a bar and soaked up by a rag and onto the internet in September 2010. Long shot from where we are now. Staff didn't even have smartphones when we started.
Since then, we've changed locations a dozen times. A mountain in Virginia, the snow of Utah, the bayou of Louisiana, the desert of Idaho, and the watery drizzle of Washington state. In our heart, when we sit down to create programming for the library or review a book or movie, we are still that new librarian in Mississippi wanting to make people entertained and occasionally informed.
So here we are. Still writing about the goings on in the library. Still reading books and watching movies. Still getting stupid questions and once in a while a jewel, an actual seeker of knowledge. Not someone looking to back up their views but someone who was amazed by the world for a moment and wanted more. That's the beauty of a library. A collection of information (not always the best, librarians are human) curated to give understanding and empathy and joy. Little moments of discovery in a book or walking through the stacks or talking to someone with a different worldview than yours. Sharing. Caring.
And sometimes a silly thing like a farting dog in story time or a horrible thing like a patron clipping their toenails in the computer lab.
As poet Horace once said, "Ridentem dicere verum quid vetat?" ("What stops a person from speaking the truth while laughing?")
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Events at the Library
Story Time
Mon-Fri, 12pm, 3pm, 5pm - All birthday content all week. We'll sing the Happy Birthday song cause fuck the Hill sister's estate for locking that down for so long like some stupid Disney. We'll read stories that require change and moving forward, like "Miss Daisy and the Evil Plants" and "Murder on the School Bus." Join us!
Library Birthday Scavenger Hunt
Mon-Fri, Sept 14-18 - Come to any library desk to pick up a scavenger hunt form that will have you running for items all over the library! Find a book written by someone from the state or the best recipe for fried pickled peppers or how to potty train an infant. There's four sheets, each different and written by staff covering their favorite parts of Children's, Reference, Special, and our general library collections.
Dishwasher Repair for Toddlers
Tues, Sept 15, 2pm - Do you feel as a toddler you have little to offer your family? Are you unsure about your life path and want to get ahead of your peers? Come down to the library on Tuesday to speak with Dan Ohhurlahanan, local appliance repairman and learn the ins and outs of repairing various name brand dishwashers.
Gloria Steinem Memorial
Wed, Sept 16, 1pm - Come with us to celebrate the life and times of Gloria Steinem, trailblazing icon of the feminist movement on Wednesday. Speaker Andrea Johnson of the local spiritualist society will be on hand to reach out to the great beyond to see if we can speak with the Ms magazine creator. Snacks will be served.
A display will be up for the rest of the month.
You Can Still Get COVID
Wed, Sept 16, 6pm - Gather in our small meeting room to hear Dr. Timothy "Dr. Timmy" Johnson of Banned Medical to speak about the upcoming COVID and flu season. Dr. Timmy will have free masks and gloves to hand out. No other medical advice will be rendered at this time.
Fundraising with Friends
Fri, Sept 18, 6pm - Our annual fundraising party is here! Come down on Friday night to participate in our rare book sale, silent auction, and bingo game. The Children's Department will have a special story time for the little ones. Refreshements will be served. Alcohol will not be served and is not permitted (wink). Tickets are $158.32 per adult and $42.95 for those under 16 years of age. All proceeds go to the library fund to continue operating.
Teen Movie Night: Pirates of the Mediterranean (2004)
Sat, Sept. 19, 5pm - For Talk Like a Pirate Day, we present the classic film "Pirates of the Mediterranean," a mix of pirate lore and ancient Greek mythology. Reviews called it "a ripoff in the best way" and "wow, Johnny Depp will do anything for a wig." Popcorn will be served.
Adult Movie Night: She's Ashore! (1977)
Sat, Sept 19, 7pm - For Talk Like a Pirate day, the library presents "She's Ashore!" the 1977 classic film about a young woman thrown out of her house for breaking family rules to become a seamstress on a ship bound for New Orleans. Little does she know how well her skills will come to use. Popcorn will be served.
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Circulation Station
What we've been reading/watching
Taskmaster Series 22 - Watch this silly show to know what joy is.
Our Winter Monster by Dennis Mahoney - A dark tale on a snowy night when something descends on a small town and takes out some tourists. Trauma gets worked through and heads roll.
Swag by Elmore Leonard (Elmore Leonard Book Club) - Frank and Stick have come up with a novel way to make money: rob people. As they make their way through 70s Detroit doing crime, they get into a variety of hilarious and violent escapades.
Ultimates (2024) #24 (2026) - Whoa buddy, if you want to see some Hulk-busting nonsense, check out this "elseworld" title where an evil version of the Hulk with Iron Fist's power gets taken down. Warning: graphic and mired heavily in continuity.
Amazing Spider-man: Spider-versity #1-2 (2026) - There's a small army of kids with spider powers and Peter Parker does not have time to train them. Enter Norman Osborne, the reformed Green Goblin, to whip them into shape with devious means. A fun light comic with some dark undertones.
Onslaught (2026) - When a group of brainwashed supersoldiers attack a small desert trailer park, a veteran sniper with PTSD must fight them off and to save her life and the life of her daughter. In the same world as 2014's The Guest, this is a grindhouse movie made for those who love to yell "shit yeah" at the screen. Not a good movie but a great movie.
Tech Serv's Stewpot
Could be a recipe or a random rant from a crazy person shoved in the back of the library and left alone too long!
This time of year makes me think when my kids were going back to school or work or wherever they went when the sun came up. I'd send them out with a little brown paper bag. Inside that bag was the best lunch I could give them: a twinkie and three dollars in quarters for the snack machine. Sometimes I'd throw in another dollar cause my babies deserved a soda and a bag of chips on their break. By the time they'd get home, I'd say "Don't bother me, I'm on my sauce" if I was at home. Sometimes I walked out into the woods to find something.
The best BLT is made with four ingredients: bacon, lettuce, tomato, and bread. First you fry up a pound of thick cut bacon. Don't get that flavored shit cause if I wanted to taste maple smoke I'd light the woods on fire again. Take the bread and put it down, cut up some lettuce and tomato. Now, some people will tell you the lettuce goes on bottom and the tomato on top. Other people will tell you the other way around. All I know is there better be at least five strips of bacon or I'll fight you in the Waffle House parking lot under the full moon like nature intended. You can toast the bread, I don't give a shit. Just remember, at least five strips of bacon or you get five across the face.
Happy back to school.