When reading the Great Gilly Hopkins for this week's book club, the library wondered what would happen if you fostered a child possessed by the Dark Lord. Would there be special consideration? Would the agency even tell you? We decided to look into the matter and called up Gene Stapleton of the United States Adoption Agency of America. Here's our conversation:
Banned Library: Thanks for meeting us.
Gene Stapleton: Where am I?
BL: You're at the library. We're here today to ask you how to get a child possessed by the Dark Lord.
GS: You can't hold me like this. Let me go.
BL: Don't worry, everything's fine. Just answer our questions. You know where the child of Armegeddon is, don't you Gene?
GS: I don't know what you're talking about.
BL: Fine. Say I wanted to adopt a child, possessed by evil or not. What would I do?
GS: Are you serious?
GS: Oh, God.
BL: Not here, Gene my boy.
GS: Well, first you would contact your state or local adoption agency. Most have classes and seminars to see if fostering a child is right for you.
BL: Uh huh. Go on.
GS: You would have to prove stability. Income, ability to work with the caseworkers, social responsibility, and place of living.
BL: The library's the most stable place in town.
GS: Then there's classes.
BL: The library can host them! We do all kinds of classes.
GS: Why are the lights lowering?
BL: No reason. Keep going.
GS: Then there's applications and you'd have to be approved. A caseworker might have to do a homestudy-
BL: We would have to let them inside. Sure. Everyone is welcome in the library.
GS: The caseworker would evaluate your home and life to see if you are fit to care for a child. What's happening? What's that sound?
BL: Anything else?
GS: No. Then it would be up for a caseworker to turn in the evaluation and place you with a child that best fits-
And that was the end of our interview as Gene had to leave very quickly. You may be able to find him all over town. Let's just hope the application process is swift.
If you are curious about adopting or fostering a child in your home with or without the ability for evil, contact AdoptUSKids.org for more information.