Muppets Most Wanted (2014) goes on a trip and doesn't really go anywhere

When the Muppets came back with the big movie that won music awards and had Amy Adams in it, I had a hell of a lot of hope. They were my touchstone from childhood that over the years kinda became that thing I used to like. When Jason Segel and the crew came back, they filled it with heart and joy that I remembered from before Henson left us. Then those creative people left and we got the corporate mandated Muppets Most Wanted.

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Boyhood (2014) doesn't really get going until it's over

There was a point while watching Boyhood when I stopped looking at my watch, but I can't tell you when that was. Clocking in at just over three hours and covering ten years of life, Boyhood works on many levels. That being said, I'll probably never see it again.

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20. Paddington (2014) Movie Review: Charming English movie that will relieve what ails you

When I'm having a bad day, there's a few things that brighten it up. I'm not talking about earth-shattering days, just those times when the couch seems like the best option. Songs, movies, books: these are the things made to brighten the soul. Add Paddington to that list.

    Paddington, like the books that came before it, is about a bear in a red hat and a blue coat that lives in London. He moves there hoping to find a family. The Browns take him in and in a very standard story, learn to have fuller lives with the clumsy bear in their house. Also, there's a killer taxidermist (Kidman) with a past linked to Paddington's because it's the 2000s, y'all. Action!

    My history with this series is spotty. Honestly, I don't seem to have much recollection of when I first heard about Paddington. My grandma was English, from Bristol, but I don't remember her or my mom reading them. Nothing from Summer Reading or school, either. Just looking at that bear in his red hat and blue coat, though, brings a smile to my face. Don't know why.

    This movie is like comfort food or a simple ray of sunshine on a rainy day. Check it out however you can and just enjoy it. You might not learn much, you might not grow as a person, but you will smile a small smile at the pure English antics of crumbling scenarios, cross-dressing, and wordplay.

It Follows (2014) Movie Review wherein I was bored for a while then while getting milk I was like, brrrr, that would be creepy

The idea is simple: you have sex and a thing chases you until it gets you and you die. Maybe. Nothing's really sure in what people have been calling the best horror movie until Get Out got out.

    On the surface, I'm down. Good premise. Nice looking kids doing their all to thwart a being hell bent on killing… one of them. And that's it. Don't fuck Jay and you're safe.

    That's the issue, right? As far as we know. The director/writer came out recently and said there's more to it. The rules we learn are formed by the characters in the movie, so the It might have more to It.

    That's the basis for good horror. A nameless shapeshifting thing is coming to fuck-murder you for no apparent reason other than it seems to dislike fornication. Or really like it. The unknown is the cornerstone of great horror.

    Unfortunately, this mumbly movie kinda just makes its way along. Everyone is realistic and with this monster, that's kinda dull.

At least it wasn't cute and named The Strange or anything like that.