Blade Runner 2049 (2017) Movie Review: Gorgeous, Loud, and Slooooowwww

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I might have a sleeping problem. Put me in a dark room with a big screen and I go all Kevin Bacon in Stir of Echoes. Total hypnotism. You could probably even make me like the Blade Runner franchise.

    I get it. Don't tell me I don't get it. Far flung future with robot-lite slaves who want to be free. A noir-ish person who hunts them down and in the case of the narrative stumbles upon giant questions. Gorgeous visuals. Striking sound. Acting above reproach. Everything about Blade Runner and the sequel are amazing.

    I just don't give a shit. All that, for me, adds up to a nearly three hour nap. If Zimmer's score wasn't there to jolt me and the people two blocks away out of their seats with a giant "BUH-WAAAAAAA" every ten minutes or so, I might have just been in a park. There might have been less contact with sticky floors.

    The deep existential questions about being and not being, creation and life, those all got me back with Thoreau and any other navel gazer I happened to read in college. Just because they are wrapped up science fiction hopes and dreams doesn't make them more appealing to me.

    But hey, that's me. If you love a gorgeous movie well acted that asks all the big questions while taking its time, you'll love the hell out of Blade Runner.