4. The Paperboy (2012) Movie Review: Sweaty, Pulpy, and Just This Side of Wrong

Netflix likes to recommend stuff for me to watch based on my previous watching. I watch a lot of crazy stuff, so I get recommended a lot of crazy stuff. This is the culmination of my love for John Cusack and Matthew McConaughey as well as that time my girlfriend watched Zac Efron movies on my profile.

     What the hell is this movie and where the hell has it been? This is the wildest trainwreck I've ever watched and not had to listen to on podcasts. I've been trying to sum up the plot in my head all day and all I can come up with is: people sweat and are gross and Nicole Kidman has enough money to do whatever the fuck she wants.

     A sheriff is murdered so McConaughey comes home with his newspaper partner to investigate the crime. His family runs the local paper with the titular paperboy (Efron) and Scott "Somebody at Netflix missed me" Glenn. They meet up with Kidman who's been romancing a prisoner (Cusak) who might know something about the crime. I think. Shit went off the rails pretty quick and I needed a whiskey.

     This movie feels like the bastard cousin of A Time to Kill, the cousin you bring up from the basement on holidays and hope he doesn't hump grandma's leg. It's sweaty and weird and I kinda liked it when it didn't feel like it was winking at me, giving me an elbow like a drunk uncle saying "check that shit out, huh?"

The drunk uncle also happens to be the guy who got nominated for Precious and lauded for The Butler. Weird movie.