Lego Ninjago Movie (2017) Movie Review and the dreams I had while I slept through it

by Banned Library in


Five minutes into the Lego Ninjago Movie I fell into an deep and infintiely more exciting dream. In the dream I myself was a ninja, but I worked at a library. A library ninja, if you will. I was going about my normal library tasks but dressed as a ninja.

    I woke up to see a cast of plastic, Toy Story (1995) inspired creatures jumping and yelling and doing fuck all if I could tell. Someone once said these Lego movies were a mash up of Airplane! (1980) and Avengers (2012). Fuck that person right in the ear with a plastic interlocking brick.

    If you like the Lego games, good. Great for you. Same about the movies. In my opinion, the first Lego Movie (2014) was a delighful suprise. Lego Batman (2017 holy shit that came out this year? Thanks Trump for extending my life with an unending sense of dread) was crap. Shiny crap, but just too much. This movie extends on that crap by taking out the Batman and leaving all the stuff I hated.

    I don't know shit about Ninjago and after sitting through this movie, I care even less. I fell asleep three more times, continuing my ninja librarian dream. I helped a patron photocopy, found the paper in the book drop, and craeated a library card, all while wearing a ninja mask. And I was super bummed every time I woke up.