The Disaster Artist (2017) Movie Review where I kinda lose it because I loved it so much

by Banned Library in

When going into The Disaster Artist, there's a few things you must know. One, a man named Greg Sestero helped his weird and very rich friend Tommy Wiseau make a horrible movie called The Room (2003) that if famous if only because it is. Two, you will never learn anything about Tommy Wiseau. There's more, so much more, but why spoil yourself.

    The real big question is: Should you watch The Room before you see The Disaster Artist? Hell, man, you might as well ask me why we should know what the sun is before an eclipse? Isn't it enough that the thing is out there and could cause people to delve into madness if they think too hard on the subject?

    James Franco and his brother Dave star as our pair of nuts at the center of the hurricane. Along for the ride are just about everybody, including the How Did This Get Made podcast, mostly there I assume as a blatant lampshade on the whole affair. How the hell did any of this get made?

    To be fair, man, I loved the movie. It's funny and strange and open in a way a lot of movies are not. If Tommy Wiseau was a character from someone's brain, this mess would play out like Borat or the quaint imaginings of Wes Anderson. However, the whole thing is based in fact and therefore a work of genius.

Lego Ninjago Movie (2017) Movie Review and the dreams I had while I slept through it

by Banned Library in

Five minutes into the Lego Ninjago Movie I fell into an deep and infintiely more exciting dream. In the dream I myself was a ninja, but I worked at a library. A library ninja, if you will. I was going about my normal library tasks but dressed as a ninja.

    I woke up to see a cast of plastic, Toy Story (1995) inspired creatures jumping and yelling and doing fuck all if I could tell. Someone once said these Lego movies were a mash up of Airplane! (1980) and Avengers (2012). Fuck that person right in the ear with a plastic interlocking brick.

    If you like the Lego games, good. Great for you. Same about the movies. In my opinion, the first Lego Movie (2014) was a delighful suprise. Lego Batman (2017 holy shit that came out this year? Thanks Trump for extending my life with an unending sense of dread) was crap. Shiny crap, but just too much. This movie extends on that crap by taking out the Batman and leaving all the stuff I hated.

    I don't know shit about Ninjago and after sitting through this movie, I care even less. I fell asleep three more times, continuing my ninja librarian dream. I helped a patron photocopy, found the paper in the book drop, and craeated a library card, all while wearing a ninja mask. And I was super bummed every time I woke up.