Why did I think this movie was directed by Robert Rodriguez? Did he have something to do with it and I'm blanking out. I seriously thought this was the missing piece of the Rodriguez oeuvre that would tie everything together for me. As it stands, it did not tie anything together.

    Several human people are parachuted into a jungle. They are slowly hunted down one by one until they turn the tide and become the hunters. Clever, right? Turns out they are on an alien game preserve and this is a Predator movie. Oh, and one of them who seems like a dummy dumb dumb is a serial killer so shock right there, kids.

    This movie would work so much better if I did not know it was a Predator movie. It's really just a version of Most Dangerous Game (as all the Predator movies are), but super dumb. Imagine this movie from the Predator angle. We have to assume after being killed by Schwarzenegger and Danny Glover, they decided hunting on Earth is too hard. Fine. They go down, they abduct dangerous people, and set them free on a game preserve. Except, here's the fun, imagine a Predator not only packing a parachute but putting one on That 70s Show. That's fucking cute because his big Predator claws don't work like that.

    Also, I just thought about this: these guys, the humans, are super badass killers, right? So how did they get kidnapped in the first place? Are the Predators we see the lazy rich Predators that pay to hunt already feeble creatures, a la that dentist who shot that lion? If so, who set up the safari? Are humans doing this to other humans so the Predators will stop coming to Earth?

    This movie is dumb. Stay away.

    Also, listen to the Superego podcast. You'll thank me.