Remember back in the day when the office party would be raging and Brenda would drop her pants and hop up on the copy machine? Me neither, library holiday parties have never been ragers. But that butt copy has always been a temptation, huh? Maybe not for long. Old tech dies with each generation, speeding up. Here are thirteen reasons why your library no longer needs a copy machine.Read More
"It won't scan, it just comes out dark," the lady said. She held up a piece of paper that was solid black. You could just make out printing.
Pam and Carl exchanged a look that said "this crazy lady is trying to photocopy a purple sheet of paper on a black and white copier and doesn't get how pants work." This look was a very normal look for them.
Carl said, "Let's go look at the copier and see what's wrong." He was only volunteering to help because Pam had helped the last patron, a man who was looking for large print audio books.
At the copier, Carl got a bit of a shock. Attached to the copier was a squid making sweet love to the office machine.
"That wasn't here earlier," the woman said.
"Squick Squick Squick," the squid said.
"Huh," Carl said.
The two of them waited, staring at the sea life having its way with the photocopier. The woman dreamed of being touched so gently. Carl wondered how it was lasting so long.
Then a man came around the corner. He had on a beige uniform that fit a little snug. A patch on the shirt read "Johnson Photocopying." He said, "Sorry folks, ole Reggie's just finishing up filling the toner. He takes his time about it, but then, he's not paid so I guess I would to."
Carl, the woman, and the copy machine man waited while Reggie the squid fucked the copy machine. Reggie said, "Squick, squick, squick." The machine remained silent.