He stood with her in a little hallway. They both wore a sheen of sweat and he said something about marrying her.Read More
We were crossing into Florida when I realized that this girl might want to kiss me.Read More
I said a lot of mean shit about A Wrinkle in Time (2018) and I meant every word. Especially the part about adapting a book to movie, tempering readers, studios, and viewers expectations. I still mean that with this book, but more with a shrug and an "attah movie, you tried hard." Perks of Being a Wallflower, adapted by the author, struggles to live up to the prose by giving it a voice it didn't need.Read More
What happens ten years down the line after the romance has faded, the kids are had, and the secret resentments toil and bubble? You can still make each other laugh, you can still work in concert, but that passion and spark is a warm glowing sameness. What's the thing about the frog in the pot? If you turn the water up over time you can boil the creature without a problem? Before Midnight is the conclusion to a romance at its boiling point.Read More
Old friends are rare. Those friends that you knew long ago and for some reason separated from, that you see again and boom, right back. Old friends never leave you. They stamp their mark on you whether you knew them for years or hours. Before Sunset tells the story of a rekindling, a romance rebuilt because nine years before two lost souls became old friends over night.Read More
We all know what romantic movies are supposed to be, right? Person meets person in a cute way, they initially are irritated, fate spills them into each other's arms, a force pries them apart, then they race back together for a finale marriage or at least reconciliation. There's some variety to be had, but for the most part this is it. Call Me By Your Name shows how real life is.Read More
You know if you like this or not so just go watch it.Read More
Make you want to have a drink and then not have that drink againRead More
Chalkboard magic gets two people together as well as the sale of a winery and... yeah, it's HallmarkRead More
Dustin Hoffman stars as Dustin Hoffman and Hoffy Dustman in this comedy?Read More
A mystery wrapped in a love story wrapped in a man's obsession.Read More
The movie that gets going right as it ends.Read More
Ever said something you wish you could take back and then a small town tries to get you to solve its problems by making you an indentured servant? That happens in this holiday shit show.
Lori Loughlin stars as Scrooget, an on air personality sorta like Ellen if Ellen was unlikable. One day, Scrooget lets it fly to the nation that she hates Christmas. Because ratings are king, she's forced to go with her producer to a small town to see how they get Christmas spirited.
Oh, you think it's as simple as "she gets some small town values and learns to love again?" Fuck you, you simpleton.
Scrooget has a bunch of problems, rivaled only by the town that calls her to its broken shores. First, her dad left her years back after her mom died (or something, I forget) and that's why she hates Christmas. Second, her producer (the likable Colin Ferguson who was awesome on Eureka) is also her ex-boyfriend who she dumped a long time ago and still holds a torch for. Finally, there's some weird thing about the tree in the center of town being missing. Mystery Time!
Here's how all those stories get wrapped up: Her dad shows up and she freaks out but forgives him. They get trapped in the snow and fall back in love because you saw that coming. And the tree is missing because (this will be a long sentence) the man whose family used to send the tree to the town is in a depressive spiral and no longer celebrating Christmas after his wife and child died in a car accident last Christmas which is why the town decided to call up Scrooget and get her to "learn about small town Christmas" AKA "show on the tv that our town loves Christmas and wants the depressive widower to come back to them."
Don't read that all out loud without taking a drink first. To say that this "movie" takes some weird ass turns that are way dark for a Christmas movie is to also say that drinking drain cleaner is a bad idea. It's bonkers with a scheme worthy of a crack addicted Batman villain.
HOLY SHIT. I just learned that the depressive guy is Willie Aames. I take it all back to get a Charles In Charge alum back here. Besides Scott Baio because, well, just no.