The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) really kinda scared me in an old fun way

by Banned Library in


Horror often gets its balls cut off. Many of the entries in the genre are just this side of comedy, relegated even to jokes like the Chuckie scene in Ready Player One. True horror, the existential dread of life, seems to have been pushed aside in favor of jump scares and cheering when teenagers get hacked apart. Few movies contemplate a horror like the Autopsy of Jane Doe.

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Mother! (2017) is a well done allegory that really wanted you to know it and has JLaw, y'all!

by Banned Library in


When a movie sits you down and tells you, okay, today we're gonna tell you a story about one thing that means another thing, it's okay to get apprehensive. Most people that sit you down to tell you something without any type of presentation are full of shit. Too much the other way, too much presentation, and you can have the feeling you're being lied to. mother! straddles that line between jamming truth down your throat and lying as if it is out to fuck you and said you were just going to wrestle.

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Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero (2017) makes those pesky kids grow up and face the world. The original dog's dead, though

by Banned Library in


It's hard to face sometimes a long ago childhood innocence. Saturday morning cartoons that looked so bright and shiny, staying that way in memory. Don't look back if you want that shine to last. Of course, others can look back and deconstruct and make you remember the best parts.

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19. Rope (1948) Movie Review: Smug Assholes, it turns out, are universal

by Banned Library in


What does the perfect murder look like? The victim deserves it, the murderer is just, and no one gets caught. Turns out if you've got enough education you can justify any of those points.

    Brandon (Dall) and Philip (Granger) have strangled their friend David to death. Believing themselves to be above reproach of the law and David's friends and family, the two then throw a party with David's body stuffed in a chest they use as a buffet table. As the party goes on, their old schoolmaster Rupert (Stewart) becomes suspicious.

    I won't say everything everyone else says about this movie. Alfred Hitchcock's grand experiment in long shots, the film composed of ten long shots with a few edits, Rope is a novelty of a movie. I won't mention how the homosexual undertones inform on the rather problematic motives of the upper crust privilege. I won't even say how the plot was based on a stage play and was based on the real life Leopold and Loeb murder. Not going to say any of that.

    Not Jimmy Stewart's favorite of his work with Hitchcock, the movie holds up as both a cultural artifact and a damn good movie. It's a masterclass in blocking and small space acting. You have no choice but to rent this or do what I did and get if from the library.




8. Insidious: The Last Key (2018): I Guess You Could Skip It If I Saw the Others

by Banned Library


Horror movie sequels are hard to make. Do you rehash the original or do a new thing? Bring back the old characters or start with new people? Continue the story or just do whatever?

    I have no idea what this Insidious: The Last Key did. I never saw the other (three?) movies, so I can't say. But I can say that this one is B-grade horror at its best.

    An old lady who can see ghosts gets a job to go back to her old home so she can confront some ghosts of her own. See what we, the movie and I, did there? Because her dad was abusive so she has trauma and that can be seen as metaphorical ghosts and there's real ghosts. It's supes cogent.

    The jump scares are few, the jokes are peppered, and nothing really does great. Like, no great was had. Some fine happened. Some okay squeaked in there. They got me on one twist, double downed and kinda wasted it. Then threw in another and I stopped caring.

    In this movie, humans are the real monsters. Except when a demon is tricking or manipulating them? The whole thing is just a mess that plods along. I wish I could say it is at least fun, but I checked my phone during this one which is a sin in my world that gets you banned to hell where you watch this movie.

    Still, if you can't find anything on streaming one hungover day, yeah, there's better movies.




Invitation (2016) Movie Review: Because I can't get enough what the fuck did I just watch

by Banned Library in


Going home is hard. In this life, our new generations has decided that home is an expansive topic and we create our own families bereft of blood. So recreating those cobbled relationships after devastation is frightening as the people we choose choose different paths.

    Will and his girlfriend attend a party given by his ex-wife Eden and her new husband as well as all their friends. The gang hasn't all been together since Will and Eden separated and find it awkward, especially when Eden starts talking crazy cult nonsense and shows a snuff film. Are Eden and her new husband in a murder cult or is Will just seeing an imagined spectral trail of insanity stemming from deep trama?

    I'm not answering that fucking question because the truth is kinda amazing. Director Karyn Kusama has lacked some punch in her previous directorial efforts, especially the high profile and campy fun Jennifer's Body, but man… The suspense and tension in this movie as you wonder what the hell is going on builds and builds. Just a crazy good story.

    Not sure how to end this. Wanna talk about the ending? Well, you see, after everything goes down and all the secrets are